Minnesota’s Gay Marriage Amendment

It’s 7 am on a Sunday, and I woke up angry – so you’ll have to excuse me if my thoughts are a little ADD as a result of that combination.

Last night, the MN Legislature approved the idea of putting a constitutional ban on gay marriage to a general vote in 2012. Where do I even start with this?

With all of the problems going on right now in this country – and the WORLD – it boggles my mind that SO much effort is being put towards suppressing the rights of ANY group. It scares me that this is the kind of thing that such a huge percentage of the currently-employed politicians obsess over (and build their careers on!). I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Happy, healthy, well adjusted people do NOT spend time, money, and effort on such negativity – working against the rights of others. It bothers me greatly that “happy, healthy, well adjusted” is a set of terms that cannot be applied to a great deal of the people in charge.

Why *aren’t* they happy people, then?

Maybe there are problems at home. As a happily married person, I can’t even wrap my head around the idea of gay marriage being some sort of threat to my own marriage. There’s no logical way that such a statement can be used blanket-style for all marriage, so it must be a personal concern, about their own marriage.

Perhaps there is concern that one of the partners is secretly gay, but is addicted to marriage. Well, if this is the case, I can see why the ABILITY for gay people to marry would be a concern to that particular relationship.. Given the popularity of “straight” Republican gay scandals… I guess these so-called ‘straight” marriages COULD be threatened by such a right.

Now, I may not be gay, but I HAVE to think that life would just be so much better if these people just came out of the closest and were themselves, rather than pretending. Renting “luggage handlers”, taking your “wide stance” to public washrooms, and sexting young pages can’t be a fun way to have to dance around your own sexual identity.

I’m trying to think of another way that gay marriage could threaten straight marriage. I’m drawing a blank here.

You know, I was on debate team as a kid, and I KNOW how to come up with an argument for the other side. I guess we were just never presented with a topic so completely nonsensical?

It bothers me greatly that the right in question here – that some people are working SO hard to suppress – is such a positive one. These are people who want to MARRY. They either found the love of their life and want to make a commitment to them, or they are romantics that are looking forward to the day that they DO meet that someone. These aren’t deviants, they aren’t looking to do something twisted or destructive like the haters claim, they just want to get married.

I can’t think of something more twisted or hateful, than to work against someone’s right to love.

It also bothers me greatly that GLBT people, as a group, are being completely demonized in the process. As a people, they are being marginalized, are having their basic human rights stripped from them, and they are being TREATED as a second class, as less than the full “human” that the rest of us are. Did we learn nothing from slavery? From the holocaust? Now, I may not have a degree in history or anything, but I can’t think of a time where any good has come from demonizing and marginalizing ANY group, whether based on the amount of melanin in their skin, the religion they follow, or who they fall in love with.

Why some people believe that gay people choose who they fall in love with is beyond me. Oh right, it must be because straight people can choose who they love, and flip attraction on like a switch, right? “He’s really nice, and would be GREAT for me, but I don’t feel it’, and “He looks good on paper, but there is no SPARK” aren’t words that fall from straight lips ever, right?

Actually, let’s talk about family values, in that context. If us straights are SO adept at choosing who we fall in love with, well, that must explain the 0% divorce rate that us high and mighty straights enjoy! That pristine, perfect representation of marriage that some are working SO hard to preserve. It’s because of this ability to choose, that people never fall OUT of love and leave their families. It’s very easy to choose to just fall in love with their spouse. This is why straight marriage is so infallible. Because love is a CHOICE.

Oh, but wait… if love is a choice, and if gay people can choose to be gay… well, then they can choose to have that same perfect, pristine 0% divorce rate too!

The thing is, marriage is not perfect. Not as an institution, not on individual basis. When gay people can marry, some will divorce. Some of those divorces will be ugly, some will involve children, some infidelity, and most of them will involve hurt feelings.

That’s life. That’s marriage and love, in the big picture. Some couples don’t work out. That’s being HUMAN. Gay people are humans, and I think that’s something that’s being lost sight of, here. These are people who went to the same schools as the rest of us, date, fall in love, have their hearts broken, pay taxes, have families, have careers, live and die like the rest of us. They didn’t choose to be gay any more than I chose to have blue eyes, or Michelle Bachmann CHOSE to be batshit crazy.*

When this goes to vote, I hope that those people voting on their “Christian values” take the time to read the Bible first. Take it ALL in, not just the passages about scary gay people. Read about loving your fellow person. Read about casting stones. Read about all of the backwards stuff that happened in there, that is not considered acceptable nowadays.

Think long and hard about if your God, if your Jesus, would be marking the ballot to ban gay marriage.

Think about the Constitution. Think about the Declaration of Independence. Think about “Pursuit of Happiness”, and think about “Liberty and Justice for ALL”.

Think about freedom of religion. Think about how you would feel, knowing that Freedom of Religion is something that you are entitled to… if you were in a “minority” religion. If you were not religious at all. That this freedom that you were entitled to came off as being entirely dependent on the religion you subscribed to, rather than the actual wording OF the right.

Freedom of religion does NOT translate into “Your religion will be the law of the land, and you can force everyone else to abide by your beliefs”.

Think about happiness. Think about it in general, and think about it in terms of yourself and your loved ones. Do you enjoy happiness now? Would you really wish unhappiness on others? If so, why? What is wrong in your life, that you would wish ill on others?

If you’re one of the people who honestly believes that gay marriage is a threat to your marriage, then I highly recommend looking into your own marriage. If your marriage is so troubled, that the ability for perfect strangers to find happiness together is a THREAT, then you really need to do something about it. Talk to your spouse. Get outside help.

Or, you know, just CHOOSE to be in love with each other, and do your part to maintain the sanctity of straight marriage. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger did!

Whatever you do, take responsibility for your own marriage. Be a good person – a good CHRISTIAN, if that applies to you – and stop fighting against the happiness of others.

If you are not happy, healthy, and well adjusted enough to NOT fight to marginalize and dehumanize others, there IS help out there. While who you fall in love with may not be a choice, being happy/miserable IS a choice.

If – like me and many others – you are sick of the hatred, ignorance, and bigotry that is running rampant with this issue, fight it. A “No H8 Minnesota” campaign was started last night, by Kate-Madonna Hindes. You can visit its facebook page here.

*I could be wrong – maybe she did choose to be. That degree of crazy is not… natural.

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