I remember the first time I ate “American” cheese. I was visiting the USA, and went to have supper at Perkins. I ordered the exact same salad that I always ordered at home, expecting it to be, well, the same.
When I took my first bite, though… I was horrified. What I thought was shredded cheddar cheese was something… not cheese. I was informed that this was called “American cheese”, and was actually – at least partially – an oil product. Could have fooled me – I thought I was eating plastic! Either way, it was not 100% milk, as I’d always known cheese to be. As much as I loved that particular salad before that night, I’ve never ordered it since. The memory of it was forever scarred!
It would be a few years before I’d get another shock from eating a “cheese” product. Somehow, I ended up trying the premade Velveeta Shells and Cheese. I managed two bites, before I realized that it felt like the inside of my mouth was being plastinated. Was Velveeta used in the plastination process for Bodyworlds? I don’t know, but that was the first and last time I was gonna subject myself to it!
Every summer since, of course, I’ve had to gag at the commercials about making Velveeta / Rotel “queso dip”. As I visualized the damage this stuff must be doing to the innards of those poor unsuspecting bastards in the commercial, my husband would inform me that – if one grew up with Velveeta – it’s not as horrible as it comes across to my fresh, unplastinated palate.
They must put minute amounts of Rohypnol in that crap, for him to come away with THAT sort of view, on such a horrific thing.
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Anyway. Yes. Velveeta is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever come across in my life. That it’s marketed as food should be *criminal*.
I admit, though – there’s a certain attraction to the idea of making super easy cheese dip, per the commercial. I’ve been meaning to post my recipe for proper cheese dip for awhile now. It’s really easy, and honestly doesn’t take much more effort than So… here it is. This is a great basic recipe, feel free to play with it. Toss in some chopped chilis (after adding the corn starch), maybe some chopped cilantro (after the cheese is all melted and smooth). It’s very adaptable! |
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Basic Salsa Queso Dip Recipe
½ c up milk, beer, or chicken stock
2 Tbsp corn starch
1 cup salsa of choice*
4-5 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese**
In a medium saucepan, whisk together liquid of choice and corn starch, until mixture is smooth and there are NO lumps. Add in salsa, stir until well combined.
Heat over medium, just until it comes to a simmer. Add a large handful of cheese, stir until melted. Continue adding rest of cheese – a handful at a time – stirring until it’s melted each time. Stop when dip reaches desired thickness.
Allow dip to heat for another minute or so, after the final batch of cheese. Serve warm.
* We used a less chunky salsa for this batch, I usually like to use very chunky salsa in my cheese dip recipe. Use whatever you love! Also… I’ll admit it, when I’m feeling lazy and in the mood for chili cheese dip, I’ll substitute a small order of Wendys’ chili for the salsa!
** Please use real cheese. Seriously. Tastes better if you don’t use the pre-shredded stuff, even though I tend to use it out of convenience. Also, feel free to substitute Monterey Jack – or any other cheese – for all or part of the cheese in the recipe
Want to get a bit fancier with it? Try our earlier recipe, Southwest Fondue!
Okay, here’s where I get on your shit list. While I can say nothing about Velveeta Shells & Cheese, and I do not claim that Velveeta is cheese, I will still buy it for some things. I grew up on it, and I am proud to say that I can look at the ingredient list and identify all the things in it. If the stuff that goes into it is food, then it can be considered food…but not necessarily cheese. (For the record, I grew up in a household without most beans, spices, cheeses, breads, and no mayonnaise. I’ve come a long way since then!)
you have some serious issues. Just because you can identify it doesn’t mean its fit for ingestion. You can identify all the stuff in dog food too but that doesn’t mean you should eat it…
Wendy, you’re a geek. The whole “if I can identify it” holds NO WEIGHT AT ALL coming from someone with a good grasp of science.
Case in point: I’m sure we’re both perfectly capable of identifying everything in Teflon, also. Probably a lot of crossover with Velveeta, for that matter!
And they don’t add cellulose to it, which they do to most pre-shredded packaged cheeses. In my head, rats eat cellulose, people don’t!
Wow, is this cheesy! Made some tonight, and only used 3 of the 5 called-for cups of cheese, and it was almost too cheesy. Tasty! Especially over roasted potatoes and zucchini with oregano. Looking forward to my lunch of leftovers tomorrow.
Omigosh I LOVE this – can’t wait to try it! (And you are TOTALLY right about American cheese – what IS that stuff??)
Velveeta and American cheese are not the same thing. Just sayin’. I will NOT eat Velveeta, but Land o’ Lakes american cheese is lovely on a grilled cheese.
This came out well.
[...] glaceed / candied fruit to be one of the nastiest things on the planet. I mean, right up there with Velveeta. [...]
I like velveeta. Not more than real cheese, but I have had the velveeta/rotel dip and I think it’s perfectly fine. Maybe I’m a hillbilly, but it tastes good to me.
While I make Velveeta cheese dip-husband loves it-I am excited to try your recipe.
I just found your blog by way of Debbie Does Dinner, and I love it!
I have to say this is a good and simple recipe! Husband was all about making his superbowl queso using standard velveeta and lo and behold the store was sold out.. Darn right? Anyway, tried your recipe, used most of the measurements and added some browned mild pork sausage and it came out nicely! Husband was impressed! Thanks! I too am against american and processed cheese. My poor coworker had no idea it wasn’t real cheese till I explained it to her and boy was she dissapointed! Thanks again!
This reminds me of those old Pace Pecante commercials:
Cowboy 1: Cooky, this ain’t Pace Pecante Sauce! Pace Peacnte Sauce comes from San Antonio, where folks KNOW what Pecante sauce should taste like!
Cowboy 2: This stuff’s made in New York City!
All cowboys: NEW YORK CITY?!?!
Dark cowboy: Get a rope.
Homesick Texan blog has a much better recipe. Can’t fairly call a recipe “proper” if it doesn’t originate with a Texan!
Of course there are “better” ways to make it. As you may have noticed, I posted this as a QUICK alternative to tossing together Velveeta and canned tomatoes. Hell, *I* rarely use prepared salsa in my queso dip – but for people who’ve never done it with actual cheese, this is a great place to begin. Baby steps!
Also, as an immigrant, I’m pretty put off by the “It’s somehow lesser-than if you’re not from ______”. Please leave the culinary bigotry OFF my blog.
As to the American cheese, you really need to get the 100% milk kind. The processed stuff is gross… The thing is it’s cheaper for restaurants and stores and such to use the processed crap than the real stuff, but the real stuff tastes SO much better.