Where’s Carly?

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Where’s Carly?

Hey everyone. No recipe here, and not a light subject either, but please read, and amplify this. We need help.

“Where’s Carly?” is a question that I’ve been asking for over a year now, along with many others. At this point, many of us are fearing the worst for her, and something needs to be done.

Carly Fleischmann is the 25 year old non-verbal autistic woman behind “Carly’s Voice”. You might know her from the media coverage she’s gotten over interviewing people like Channing Tatum, or for the “Carly’s Voice” book that she wrote with her dad.

She is beloved by the autistic community.

Now – full disclaimer – I didn’t see a few of the posts that I’m going to be referring to as they happened, so I’m piecing together what I’ve heard from those who had, to get the story out there.

In early 2019, Carly posted on Facebook to say that she had been molested by her father’s boyfriend, and that her father wasn’t being supportive of her in the aftermath of that. (Here’s an article about that, including a screen shot of the post. I’ve included another screen shot of the same post at the bottom of this blog entry.)

A lot of people were VERY concerned – many have said that the tone and content of the post led them to believe she was in immediate danger.

The post(s) disappeared – along with her personal FB profile – and was quickly followed up with a post to her public page on February 2, 2019:

Where's Carly Fleischmann?

“I took down my old post bc people were threatening my families life. They put my address online that made me unsafe. I have started working on making my life a safer place. My parents have heard my voice. They will listen to words to keep me safe. Thank you for believing my words. I am safe.”

Two days later, a new post was made on her Facebook page. It has since been deleted, but a truncated version remains on her Twitter account:

Where's Carly Fleischmann?


… and that’s the last the world heard from Carly (If the followup posts were indeed Carly – MANY of us have our doubts) , on any of her publicly facing social media accounts, and in the media.

To add to all of that, both the father (Arthur) and the brother (Matthew) have been presenting conflicting information:

The screen capture on the left shows the father’s reply to her post about being sexually assaulted by her father’s boyfriend. The image on the right shows the brother claiming that her account really was hacked.

If the post about being sexually assaulted was a hack, why would her father respond in such a way? That is not the way someone who has *just* learned of such an allegation would respond, that is the response of someone that’s already been gaslighting a victim over the allegation would respond. If there was no assault and the account truly was hacked, ANY father would have responded in a very different way.

… so why is the brother claiming a hack? What exactly is the family trying to cover up? WHERE’S CARLY?

It’s been well over a year since this vulnerable abuse survivor spoke out and was silenced. Asking around the community, not even people who knew her personally have heard from her, or been able to make contact.

For the past year, community members have been asking about her whereabouts, for confirmation that she’s OK, etc – to absolute radio silence. (Check out the replies to the “HACKED!” tweet for some examples)

There have been posts made by people, saying that people claiming to be Carly’s family have asked them – autistics online – to remove any posts asking if Carly is OK. This has been going on for more than a year now.

Also, the current pinned post on Carly’s page, from 2018 (You can view it here) starts out like this:

Presumably that’s not a “hacked post”, as it’s been up this whole time.

SO I ask again – Where’s Carly?!

Frankly, I’m tired of asking – and seeing the community ask – to learn nothing. I’m tired of worrying that we’re going to see her name pop up on Disability Day Of Mourning – both 2019 and 2020, I scanned the list of new murder victims, dreading seeing her name.

(Note: Statistically, the greatest threat to the life of the average autistic person tends to be their caregivers. This is why we not only have a disability day of mourning – that we have enough of our own murdered by their caregivers to necessitate such an observation day! – but also why the average lifespan of an autistic person is 35 years old. Think about that!)

More needs to be done. I’m putting this out there now: Spread the word. If you know anyone involved with the Toronto Police – or any other organization that can check in on her… please get them involved.

Also: Due to the nature of Carly’s communication – and the suspicious circumstances surrounding her disappearance from social media… please trust only visual communication, either in person or by video. There have been multiple instances now of posts claiming to be Carly, that didn’t “sound” like her. Given that it appears her father wanted her silenced… be sure that “Carly” is actually Carly, and not someone speaking on her behalf. Please and thank you!

Here’s what we know:

Location: Toronto (?) or Greater Toronto Area

Father’s Name: Arthur Fleischmann

Older brother’s Name: Matthew

Mother’s Name: Tammy Starr (According to Twitter)

Where's Carly Fleischmann?

Note: For some reason, the mother has tagged Carly’s Twitter account as recently as April 2020, though nothing has posted to that account since February 2019.

Where’s Carly?

I’m not an investigator. I have no idea how to look into any of this, or how to get results. I’m just hoping to use my platform for good, to amplify any chance that we’ll find her.

I hope she’s OK. I hope she’s out of danger, no longer being molested, and allowed to communicate in some way, even if not with the community that cares about her and is very concerned for her well being.

Thanks in advance for any help you can provide.

Links to My Previous Posts on Autism

One Autistic’s Guide to Thriving During Social Isolation / Social Distancing

ABA: What it is, What it is Not, and Why Autistics are Fighting Against it

A History Lesson and Some Context as to Why Vaxxed is so Dangerous and Problematic

On Passing, and NT Gaslighting

Symbols Matter, Words Matter

Explaining Autism: Interoception, and Something Other Than Pain

Autism Awareness Day – A Few Thoughts from My Spot on the Spectrum

Autism Speaks Does Not Speak for Me

Interacting with Autistic Children: A Guide for Charity Appearances

Aspergers: You Can’t Cure “Awesome”

1 thought on “Where’s Carly?

  1. I think about this sometimes. Honestly, I try not to.

    I don’t think we should ignore it. I would absolutely contribute to seeking justice. Even though I don’t WANT to remember it, I know we have to.
    I just meant more that it’s a reminder to me of how worthless we are to allistic people. A prominent autistic person vanishes after expressing that they’ve experienced violence and the only people asking questions are autistic people. If she were an allistic person she would have been found long ago.

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