A Calm, Logistics-Minded Approach to Preparing For The COVID-19 Pandemic

Ok, so don’t judge me.. But I’ve officially joined the “Covid Virus Panic Purchase” club.

Did I buy a bunch of toilet paper? No.

I went to Bulk Barn and bought SEVEN POUNDS worth of herbs and spices. Whoops. To be fair, this is enough to last 6 months for most items, and maybe a year – tops – for the others.

The Start of my COVID-19 Preparations!
The start of my COVID-19 preparations. Who knew that GARLIC POWDER would be such a tipping point?

In my defense, I was out doing my weekly grocery shopping, minding my business and not at ALL thinking of viruses or prepping… and two stores were sold out of *Garlic Powder*, of all things. Other herbs and spices too, but this was the one that was the tipping point for me.

Also, to be fair… our household getting into any prepping at all has been a long time coming. Very, very long time, actually.

Back in 2011, the North Minneapolis tornado that destroyed our house was a pretty big wakeup call – we’d done absolutely no prep work for any kind of emergency. We put it on a mental to-do list for sometime *after* we got on our feet and finished all the repair work.

As our move to Canada neared, we’d considered disaster prep, but decided that the odds were such that we were more likely to have to throw anything out, than find ourselves in need of any disaster preparation… so we put it off til we settled in Canada.

Then we decided to wait til fully unpacked. Then until life got settled, between business and my husband in school… and so on, and so forth.

If anything, moving home pushed disaster prep further down the priority list. Between the many safety nets here, the healthcare situation being covered, and just… not hearing gunshots at all since moving here, never mind just “no longer on a daily basis”… I don’t know, we just feel calm and safe, you know?

Of course, none of those feelings would help in the event of a natural disaster or anything, but here we are.


Disaster prep isn’t anything I’d really been concerned with, before the tornado… and it’s something I haven’t dedicated a ton of time to figuring out, since. Now that the Great Garlic Powder Shortage of Two Stores has me thinking about it, I figured … there’s a blog entry in this.

I’m well aware that all you hear about is toilet paper, hand sanitizers, and face masks…. but as a logistics person, I want to be *prepared* if I’m going to do this. I figure other people are like me, and have no idea where to start, beyond “hand sanitizers and toilet paper”, so maybe my own brainstorming with be of some help.

A few caveats:

– I’m not panicking about the virus, and neither should you. You don’t need sanitizer showers or masks, so unless you’re immune compromised and have to follow a specific protocol, just wash your hands, cough into your elbow, WASH YOUR HANDS, and quit touching your face. This is all stuff you should be doing anyway. This will all pass, but those habits are ones you should adopt in general.

– The fact of the matter, however, is that the outbreak has already impacted commerce and shipping in some areas / for some products, and I expect that’s only going to get worse.

The garlic powder thing wouldn’t have bothered me, had it not been across brands, and in more than one store. I don’t know enough about production of it, to know if it’s a shortage issue, a shipping issue, a production issue, etc – all I know is that it wasn’t a matter of a product being on SALE.

– Due to the nature of the current issue, we’re focusing preparations on that, for now. We’re not made of money, we don’t have all the time in the world, and – quite honestly – I don’t have the spoons to think out all of the things we should probably be prepared for. As such, I’m not thinking about – or addressing – things like bug out bags (Which REALLY would have come in handy for the tornado!), storm radios, etc.

– What you need to prepare for – and how you do it – is going to vary wildly, based on a few factors. Some considerations are: budget, storage space, how many people live with you, if you have any dietary restrictions, ages of people you live with, etc.

– How much time you have to prepare is another big one. Ideally, I think we probably should have started before there were any empty shelves at all… but better now, than a bit later, you know? Having time means you can plan things out better, look for sales, and generally be more efficient about the whole thing.

No one wants to find themselves in hours-long lines to shop at cleared out grocery stores before, during, or after a big storm (as recently happened in Newfoundland). I know I certainly wouldn’t want to find myself staring at the last can of beans and maybe a can of tuna and wondering what I’m going to do!

– A great time and money saver when it comes to buying food for it, is to be organized. Think ahead of time: What meals can you make with less perishable items, and what ALL is required for those meals? Say you keep it really easy and just want a frozen meat and a frozen veg for each meal. That makes grocery shopping easy. Do you have enough salt, pepper, and any other herbs you need? What fat do you need to cook it in? Anything else?

While you could technically survive on unseasoned food, a little planning would help make this whole thing a lot more palatable – literally.

– On the subject of palatability, plan for some treats. Rice Krispy treats. The ingredients to make cookies. Whatever. You still want to *live*, and a normal-ish diet during holing up will make things a lot more pleasant.

I still remember out 6 months after the tornado. It was all fast food, hotel showers, etc. The whole experience was so emotionally taxing, that little luxuries every once in a while really helped morale. I would imagine that would go a long way here, too.

– I’m following an autoimmune protocol diet for the next few months, which seriously impacts my food choices. This also means that leaving things til the last minute could negatively impact my health, so… I’m definitely looking to avoid that! Time means less chance of having to make compromises.

– Due to the nature of my diet, I’ve been on pretty much nothing but fresh veggies, fruit, and meat – all highly perishable. For the purposes of *this* prep work, we’ll be moving to the same items, but frozen. I’m sure some canned goods are fine, but I’d rather go with frozen. Obviously, if we were looking to prep for weather, etc right now.. We’d want things to be more shelf stable. Definitely plan around your own circumstance – tornado season is coming up, if you live in an area concerned… lean a bit more on shelf stable items.

– Overall, my view on this is that we should have stuff on hand in general. If either one of us get sick or injured, it’s good to have backup. If daily use items cease production for a while, or shipping is interrupted, life will be more comfortable if we’re not, say, living without dish or laundry detergent.

I have no idea how many months one should plan for, but I’m thinking 1 month of food, 3 months for everything else. Food supply isn’t going to be universally impacted by any one / several producers closing/suspending shipping… however, if a couple sock factories or drug companies suspend operations, we’re going to feel it!

– You might already have some of these covered – I know we tend to stock up on certain things during sales, etc.

– Unless you’re living somewhere with an immediate concern of quarantine / supply, don’t go too wild. Start slow, watch sales, etc. There’s no sense taxing the system early, just buy a little extra of what you use each time you go shopping.

– Eat what you buy, and cycle things out. There’s no sense being well stocked, never using anything, and ending up with spoiled items. If you buy things you normally eat – or versions of them – and use / replenish a bit at a time, you’ll never end up with waste. First in, first out!

– I called for “LOTS of freezer bags” because a lot of the freezer items you can buy will be far more economical to buy in large bags. You’re best to divide those out into smaller bags and get as much air out as possible – not only is this more convenient when it comes to using them, it’ll make them last a bit longer. (I’m saying this as someone who CANNOT handle even the smallest taste of freezer burn!)

– I wrote the bulk of this a couple days ago, when the Garlic Powder Incident happened. Things have really blown up in the past few days, so I’d like to add this:

This prep stuff – as *I* see it, anyway – isn’t about being panicked about getting sick. It’s an acknowledgment that we are currently experiencing a pandemic, and that the best thing one can do in these situations is to do our part to not spread it.

It’s not about “I’m not worried about getting sick, because I’m not likely to die if I do”.

It’s about not becoming a carrier. It’s about not spreading it to people who are less likely to survive it.

It’s about doing our part to let the virus burn itself out, and not becoming branches of an epidemiological tree ourselves.

Events aren’t canceling prevent individuals from catching covid at the event, they’re canceling to prevent everything that comes as a *result* of whatever individuals might catch it at their event.

The more it spreads, the bigger impact it’s going to have on society, well beyond the illness itself. Factories are closing. Jobs are suspending operations. Mortgages aren’t going to be paid.

Stay home now, do your part to stop the spread of the virus, and let it burn itself out faster. No one has to panic. Being prepared to ride it out doesn’t have to be hysteria.

The more people who back away from possible exposure at this point, the less time it’ll take for us ALL to ride it out. “An ounce of prevention”, and all! Even just avoiding peak shopping times, or working out at home – rather than the gym – will help a bit towards stopping the spread.

Now, on to the base checklist I’ve been developing!


– Laundry detergent and related items (dryer sheets, etc)
– Dish detergent, related items (scrubby sponges, etc)
– Floor cleaner, glass cleaner, bleach, etc
– Hand soap, shower gel, hand lotion, related toiletries
– Toilet paper, paper towels, tissues, etc
– Garbage bags, compost bags, etc
– Batteries
– Litter
– LOTS of freezer bags
– Food wrap, parchment paper, foil
– Anything you use a lot of or rely on.
– Something to do. Books, magazines, craft supplies, games. If you do end up quarantined, you’ll need entertainment!
– Socks and underwear. A LOT of them are produced overseas, if the factories close… you may find yourself with holey socks for a while!
– If you have a home business, stock up on things you rely on, in case you lose access to them. For me, that means things like medical exam paper (for pattern making), thread, nitrile gloves (both for cooking and dyeing), packing tape, etc. I might pick up another ream or two of paper.

– Prescriptions – human and pet
– Over the counter meds (Pain relievers, cold/flu meds, antihistamines, cough drops, etc).*
– Vitamins and supplements*
– Menstrual care products
– Baby items, if needed. Diapers, formula, wipes, etc
– Think about your situation. Do you have arch supports you wear out often? Have an extra pair or two on hand.
– Exercise equipment: A few dumbbells and a jump rope may be a good idea if you decide to avoid the gym for a while.

* Probably a good time to go through your cabinet and see what’s expired!

– Pet food
– Frozen meats and fish
– Frozen veggies and fruit
– Frozen juices
– Protein powder
– Coffee/tea, related items.
– Cooking oils, fats, sprays, etc
– Herbs and spices.
– Condiments: Mayo, sauces, etc.
– Jars of garlic, ginger, etc
– Chicken broth, canned soups
– Rice, grains, pasta
– Canned or dry beans
– Convenience foods: If your family ends up sick, try to have a week or two of foods that are easy to throw together, and that you’ll actually eat if sick. Ginger ale, soup, etc.
– Snack foods, whatever that means for you. For me, that’s dried fruit and plaintain chips.
– Diet-specific needs. I use a LOT of coconut milk, and there’s a powdered version.
– Baby food, if applicable
– Flour(s), yeast. The best bakery goods are usually self serve, out in the open. May be best to skip those, for now… but no need to give up breads. (I’ve got some great recipes on this site, if you want a starting point!)

That’s about it, for now.

Anything I may have missed? Comment below with your suggestions!

A Calm, LOGISTICS- MINDED Approach to Preparing For The COVID-19 Pandemic  (With Sample Shopping List)

Iron River Construction Minnesota Review / Tornado Recovery Update

Iron River Construction Minnesota.

Last night I received a disturbing, unprofessional email from the construction company we hired after the tornado. I’m still not sure if the fact that yesterday was exactly 4 years and six months from the day of the tornado makes the ordeal we’ve been going through even more sad, or if I should laugh about the timing of the email.

Back when I wrote Twisted: A Minneapolis Tornado Memoir, I raced to get it released for the 1st anniversary of the tornado. I thought we’d be done everything, and that anything left would be minor. Little did I know that 4.5 years after the tornado – to the day – I’d find myself looking up what all agencies I have to report the construction company to.

It’s been a long and sordid tale, much of which never made it into the book. So, allow me to update… you might want some popcorn for this, as it’s pretty ridiculous. I actually have no idea how to lay it all out here, either… I think I’ll just post in chronological order, going on a series of Yelp reviews I posted as this happened:


September 9, 2015 : My First Review of Iron River Construction

We hired Iron River for major repairs after a tornado destroyed our house in 2011. It’s now 2015, they’re not finished, and … this review is going to be a really mixed bag.

A friend recommended Iron River to us, and they were really happy with work they’d had done. We met with the owner, Tracy, and really liked what she had to say. She was down to earth, nice, and we could tell she wasn’t one of those con artist types that had been SO prevalent in the area after the tornado. We hired her.

Things started out wonderfully. They were fast, efficient, very patient and understanding. Pete (I don’t believe he’s with them anymore) was particularly amazing. At one point during the tornado repairs, he even offered to go get some chicken soup for me when I was sick. I didn’t take him up on it, but still appreciate the offer. Tracy offered up the use of her roofing crew – directly, not through Iron River – to move a large tree log out of our backyard and into a truck for me to bring to a mill., and that saved us a ton of stress. I appreciated it!

When a problem came up (the roofers damaged the skylight), Iron River replaced it with NO fuss or charge to us. We were very happy with their service, and I enthusiastically recommended them to several friends as a result.

Once the roof was replaced and we started work on the kitchen, the problems started. We were now dealing with Rick as a the project manager, and it was terrible. He was rude, condescending, and kept giving us dates that he would then slack off on – despite having them written in a contract! – when something “bigger” came up. He flat out told us on more than one occasion that a more important job had bumped our kitchen. Well, great. I was less than thrilled about some mansion in Stillwater getting a fancy remodel, when I didn’t have a usable kitchen (ie: after a tree had come through the roof, it was GUTTED. Electrical, plumbing, everything had to be redone.). We asked for a different foreman – ideally Pete – and Tracy agreed, but that never happened. At one point, the gutted kitchen sat untouched for over a week, as we were constantly bumped for other jobs.

The communication with Rick was beyond terrible; there were all sorts of issues. At one point we had a plumber thinking that he was handling our bathroom remodel – that had never even been a consideration. Rick expected me to drop what I was doing to call the plumber up and tell him that no, this wasn’t the case. I had to take time to deal with HIS poor communication.

At another point, Rick gave us two hours notice that there would be a window inspection happening, with a three hour window of when that would happen… and the inspector never showed up. Completely wasted our day, scrambling to make sure we’d be there for it with NO notice.. For nothing.

When the kitchen work was finally complete, we were very happy with the quality of work – just very unhappy with how it had been handled. We had enough stress on our plate from the tornado, and the tons of other things we had to deal with surrounding that . You hire a contractor to deal with a big repair and get all of the individual stresses OFF your plate. We really feel that Rick added far more stress than hiring Iron River for the kitchen actually mitigated, in the end.

Things got extremely awkward for us when they had some interoffice drama. One of their construction guys who’d been working on our house – Steve – apparently had an affair with their receptionist, who was married to one of their other contractors… the guy who would be doing the wrapped trim on our windows, as well as the gutters and everything. It was all kinds of drama that we did NOT need to be exposed to, and got really weird and uncomfortable when the receptionist would invite herself over to hang out with him while he worked, at one point bringing her kid with her. I don’t believe either of them are still with the company, though.

After inspection, we were told that the new windows Iron River installed were not up to code by both the front door AND the back door. They sent someone by to install window film on the back, but he neglected to put the stickers on to indicate that they’d been treated with the film to bring them up to code. This was in 2011.

Since 2011, I’ve been calling and emailing Iron River every few months, trying to either get the information for the installer, or to get them to send him back out with the stickers, and to deal with the front window. At first I was told that Tracy would have to look it up and get back to me, then the calls and emails just went completely unreturned.


September 29, 2015 : My Second (Updated) Review of Iron River Construction.
Had to post as a second review a bit later, as the first was WAY too long, Yelp cut it off and made me wait!

In May of 2015, we were hit with a crazy hail storm, and the insurance company wrote off both new roofs – house and garage. As we were 100% happy with the roofing portion of our dealing with Iron River, we thought that this could be a good opportunity to finally get the windows finished also. We called them in on this set of repairs. We heard back from them on May 13, 2015.The claims adjuster came on May 21, and Iron River sent their new Sales Manager to meet with him / us.

Mark, the new sales manager was VERY understanding and apologetic about the 4 years of nagging with no results. I told him that before we would get the roof done, they would need to bring our windows up to code, per the original contract. He agreed, and was very reasonable about it. He talked about how important customer satisfaction was to him, etc. We believed him.

May 29 the installer sent the stickers to them for the kitchen windows. June 5th, they came by with the stickers. June 25th, they received the window film to treat our front windows, and told me I’d be contacted shortly for install .On Jun 29th, They installed the film on the front windows… and found that the windows hadn’t even been installed properly.

June 30th, we woke up to see that the film was bubbling and peeling horribly. From the street, our front windows looked like they’d been smashed! We immediately got a hold of Iron River, who told us that there must have been sap on the windows to prevent adhesion. … even though there are no trees anywhere nearby, as we lost them all in the tornado. He said that they would go ahead and order tempered glass window sashes, as they should have in the first place.

Then we didn’t hear anything for a month.

July 27th, we were told that the window had been ordered, and should be in that same week, or early the following week. I asked if they were still interested in quoting for roof damage, did not get a reply on that.

August 3rd, Mark emailed to say that they were expecting the windows that week and we’d be contacted shortly.

August 6th he emailed to say that the windows had arrived, and we’d be contacted shortly.

August 14th he emailed to ask if we’d heard from the installers yet. This annoyed me, because it came off like the left hand didn’t know what the right was doing. No, we had not heard from them.

August 17th, we finally heard from Greg, one of the installer, who said he’d be calling us that week. At this point, our front windows have looked smashed for over a month and a half. Very trashy and embarrassing.

August 24th, they brought and finally installed the window sashes

As I post this, it is September 9th. The roofing company we settled on when this all started going south is currently up fixing the roof, and Mark from Iron River JUST emailed to ask me if we still want them to do the roof.

Going more than 4 years with repair permits taped to our kitchen door- that could not be closed out without the windows being brought up to code – really wears on a person. The first 6 months-1 year after the tornado was incredibly hard. We got almost everything done in that time, just a few cosmetic things yet to do. We just wanted to move on from the tornado, and not have that reminder there every day, telling us that it STILL wasn’t over. 4 YEARS! For just stickers and film on the front windows.

I guess they had bigger jobs to focus on… but I’m really unhappy to have been left hanging like that, for so long. Tracy knew the toll the tornado had been taking on us. They did SO much work, so well, and had been so good through most of the process (with the glaring exception of Rick). It really sucks to be left with such a negative final review on them, over 4 stinking windows.


The window, the day after film installation. The photo doesn’t do justice to how awful it looked – the neighbour across the street stopped me to ask if we’d been vandalized!


At this point, I thought things were done. We had the windows, I had left a very fair review. Over a month later, I was shocked to receive a notification that my review had a reply from Tracy, the owner of Iron River – she had not emailed me about ANY of this, the whole time.



October 20, 2015 : My Third (Updated) Review of Iron River Construction.

Addressing Tracy’s response:

That’s an interesting interpretation. Where to start?

Maybe with the personal attack, as I was nothing but fair to you in this review. I’m blown away that you would blantantly lie about me in response.

For one, we decided not to contract with the first person who we signed with, as the owner of the company decided that his son had under quoted, and wanted to jack the price way up AFTER we paid the deposit on our agreed pricing. He was rude, so we did not hire him. That’s it – no one was “thrown off” anyone’s property. I’m not sure where a second contractor came in?

I’ll address the “very high maintenance, difficult and demanding person” in a minute..

You guys went the extra mile at first (aside from the kitchen problems), while there was still a lot of work to be done. That is why I recomended you guys to friends 4 years ago, and why I gave positive reviews back then.

When it came to the very last bit – bringing your window install up to code – I could not even get a returned call from you, for several years.

It took 4 years of nagging you for your window guy to bring the stickers to get ANY response on that. How difficult would it have been to have him bring the stickers for the back window, and schedule the film to be installed on the front windows? That was 4 years of us not being able to clear out our permits. I don’t think it’s “demanding and difficult” to expect you to bring that up to code faster than *four years*!

The only reason we called you about the roof was because you HAD done a good job with that, and we were hoping you’d see it as incentive to *finally* bring the windows up to code. Even that took a ton of nagging, with a lot of dropped communication. We’re thankful it was finally done.

Calling for that one new project after 4 years is not “called again and again for multiple projects over the years”, by the way. You did the tornado repairs. We didn’t call to hire for anything over 4 years . We called for the hail damage this year.

I have, however, called many times in the past four years to ask you to bring your window job up to code.

Very disappointed in this response.


November 15, 2015 : My Fourth (Updated) Review of Iron River Construction.

And we have another update in this ongoing saga of the not-up-to-code window.

On November 4th, I was sitting at my desk when I heard a noise up front. Went to investigate, found that the entire sheet of film on the lower front window sash (the indoor one) had just fallen off, right onto the floor.

I emailed Mark at Iron River immediately, letting him know what happened, and asked if there was something wrong something wrong with that batch of film, for the outdoor one to bubble and peel up, and this one to just fall off. They had tried to blame tree sap (despite no trees around) for the failure of the outdoor film installation, I had NO idea what would explain the indoor one just falling off.

… it’s now November 15, a full week and a half later, and Iron River has yet to reply to my email. This is *beyond* ridiculous.



Window film doesn’t do a lot of good when it’s sitting on the ground


November 22, 2015 : My Fifth (Updated) Review of Iron River Construction.

Two and a half weeks after letting Iron River know that their interior window film installation (which was their way of “fixing” the fact that they didn’t order tempered glass windows in the first place) FELL OFF, Mark from Iron River finally replied with

“Marie, obviously nothing Iron River does seems to please you, we have gone out of our way to try and make things right and have received nothing other than negative reviews and grief for it. At this point, we are done trying to help as there are no open permits for the windows and they have passed inspection. Mark.”

So there you go. As long as their fix works long enough to pass an inspection that’s good enough for them. Never mind that the window is no longer up to code.

I have no words for how disgusted I am with this whole ordeal. It’s a freaking window. I don’t understand why it’s so hard to get it up to code.

Expecting a job that you paid for in full to be up to code and finished sooner than 4.5 years after the fact isn’t being overly picky.

To have the “guarantee” held hostage over a bad review – that only came after several YEARS of nagging them to bring it up to code – is extortion at best.


… and that’s where we are now.

Personally, I’m amused at the fact that I’m the bad guy in all this, for giving a fair (but leaning negative) review after 4 YEARS of having to nag over a job that never had been done to code.

I love that I’m “high maintenance” or whatever, because I bothered them with it when their quick fix (film, rather than installing the tempered glass they were supposed to!) failed immediately.

So now, I get to deal with going after them through the legal system, like I haven’t invested enough time in chasing after this as it is. I’d always heard the stories of how contractors would screw the tornado victims over in our area, and we ALMOST ended up with such a con artist off the bat. I just never saw this coming with Iron River Construction. “Disappointed” doesn’t even come close to describing it.

I think back to the day of the tornado, when people hadn’t even begun to process what happened, as the “vultures” descended on the area. We were SO mad to see pickup trucks full of people with lawn signs advertising construction companies pull up into the extremely narrow intersections – trees and roofs just laying in the road as it was! – blocking all traffic just so they could get there and advertise first. That our tragedy was such a OPPORTUNITY to them, that they were mobilized immediately on that Sunday afternoon.


I couldn’t wrap my head around how anyone could work to take advantage of natural disaster victims in that way, at the time… and I still can’t.

On the afternoon of May 22, 2011, North Minneapolis was devastated by a tornado. Twisted recounts the Porters’ first 11 months, post disaster. Rebuilding their house, working around the challenges presented by inadequate insurance coverage. Frustration at repeated bouts of incompetence and greed from their city officials. Dealing with issues such as loss of control, logistics, change, and over-stimulation, as an Aspergian woman.

Subjects covered include: Opportunistic “Vultures”, gawkers, new friendships, a bizarre gingerbread house, unique decisions made with the rebuild – including an internet-famous kitchen backsplash, “Tornado Claus”, contractor drama, water balloons, DIY design and work, music, sensory overload, and details on how to cook jambalaya for almost 300 people, in the parking lot of a funeral home… should you ever find yourself in the position to do so. Order your hard copy here, or digital edition here.

DIY Recycled Wood Slice Garden Pathway

DIY Recycled Wood Slice Garden Pathway

Adapting a “new” home (built in 1928, but new to us!) to suit your own style is usually a big ordeal… but that went doubly for us, when we were hit by the tornado right after moving in!

After the debris had settled, most of the cleanup was done, and we had a new roof over our heads, it was time to do some finer cleanup, repair, rebuild, and redo. The side yard was a PROJECT – it was where most of the debris had landed, the small amount of planting we’d done pre-tornado was trampled by the roofers… just a huge mess. Add to that the fact that neither of us had done any sort of landscaping design before? We were sort of floundering!

We started working on the side yard last summer, one year after the tornado. It was around this time that we were also trying to figure out what we would do with the remnant logs from our downed black walnut. We’d taken the biggest logs to a mill, and had some smaller (too small for the mill) logs milled in our yard. After all of that, we still had some more logs that were either too small in diameter, too short, or too irregular for the portable wood mill. It had been such a gorgeous tree, and the wood was WAY too beautiful to let any of it go to waste.

After the tornado

With the bulk of the wood being processed and spoken for already – mostly for rebuilding the kitchen – these few leftover logs were something we could play around with a bit.

I had the idea of slicing them all up into disks and using them to redesign the side yard. We’d already decided that we wanted it to be lush with edibles, but hadn’t really come up with a solid design, or even really tossed around ideas yet. I thought it would be a pretty, rustic looking walkway to separate gardens on both sides of it… and the idea looked fabulous in my head!

Porter was a bit hesitant, and needed to be talked into it. He wasn’t sure we’d have enough wood, and wasn’t able to picture the outcome like I did.

So, I did the math – I measured out the ideal pathway, and figured out how many square inches we were talking. Then, we figured out the average diameters of the logs we had left, and worked out how many square inches of coverage we would have, when slicing them into 3″ disks. There would be enough, so my husband agreed to go ahead with it.

While this looks like a huge project, it took about a day and a half of work, with the two of us doing it ourselves. We love the results, and here’s how we did it:

This is what we started with at the beginning of the weekend. The bulk of the tornado debris had been cleared, but we still had some construction debris in there. We had already planted 3 or 4 raspberry bushes along the side of the house, and had covered the soil in that area with cedar mulch.

As a first step, we completely cleared the area of any debris, garbage, and any large pieces of broken glass.

Next, we pulled up the sod from the entire area, aside from the section with the raspberry bushes.

Once all of the sod was removed, we raked and trampled the ground to ensure a level base for what we were doing.

With a flat work surface to start laying everything out on, I started laying out the various garden sections, creating a wavy path with cement edging pavers.

Once the main pathway was established, I filled in the outer sections with fresh topsoil, and planted the gardens. I planted strawberry plants across from the raspberries, and basil and mint just beyond that in the next “wave” on that side.

The strawberry section

We planted two types of hops – 1 type each, on either side of our air conditioner – and ran twine up to our second level deck for them to grow up. Beyond the hops, we planted blueberry bushes (which ended up failing 🙁 )

As I was building the pathway and gardens, Porter was busy in the backyard, cutting the logs into 3″ disks (larger ones), and 2″ disks (the smaller diameter ones, as filler). What a badass!

(As a note: He says it would have been nicer to use a large band saw for this, as some of the cuts – smaller logs – got kind of dangerous)

AS he finished batches of log slices, he would cart them out to me, and I would place them. I started by placing the largest disks evenly throughout the space, to create the main stepping stones. I’d work my way down the sizes of logs, finally filling everything in with the smallest disks.

This is what it looked like when I’d finished placing all of the wood slices.

Another view.

Once all of the wood slices were placed, we had to carefully fill it all in with dirt. We shoveled on clean dirt, and swept it into all of the voids between the logs.

The filled-in pathway.

A year later, this is what it looks like. Gorgeous! The wood has weathered a bit, and those 3-4 small raspberry bushes filled in like CRAZY, providing us with a ton of insanely delicious berries.

The strawberries have also filled in, and we’ve been transplanting the runners to the next garden wave (took out the basil and mint), for even more berries.

The hops have ALSO grown like crazy, and are threatening to take over our upper deck! Love it!

Not only do we love the look of pathway, but it has the added benefit of making our whole side yard a NO MOWING area!

Because we used a high quality hard wood, this path will look great for many years to come. Even as it degrades, it will only gain character!

So there you have it. Not a TON of work, with such great results!

On the afternoon of May 22, 2011, North Minneapolis was devastated by a tornado. Twisted recounts the Porters’ first 11 months, post disaster. Rebuilding their house, working around the challenges presented by inadequate insurance coverage. Frustration at repeated bouts of incompetence and greed from their city officials. Dealing with issues such as loss of control, logistics, change, and over-stimulation, as an Aspergian woman.

Subjects covered include: Opportunistic “Vultures”, gawkers, new friendships, a bizarre gingerbread house, unique decisions made with the rebuild – including an internet-famous kitchen backsplash, “Tornado Claus”, contractor drama, water balloons, DIY design and work, music, sensory overload, and details on how to cook jambalaya for almost 300 people, in the parking lot of a funeral home… should you ever find yourself in the position to do so. Order your hard copy here, or digital edition here.

DIY Vinyl Tile Flooring Installation

A few months ago, Porter and I spread out “enabler” tendencies beyond our house.

If you’ve read my tornado book, Twisted: A Minneapolis Tornado Memoir… you may recall my friend Peter the ROCKSTAR. After the tornado, he came to our rescue with landscaper equipment and busted his butt to help us dig out from all of this. A lifesaver – and we barely knew him, at the time. Now, we are so happy to have him and his wonderful girlfriend Michelle as friends.

A few months ago, Peter had to leave home for a week, to volunteer with a big fundraiser. Michelle was planning to use that time to paint a few rooms in their house, and asked if we wanted to come paint with her.

Sure we did! An opportunity to start paying it forward / back!

Except… we can’t leave anything as simple as that. While we could paint the bathroom, the walls in there had some dings and dents. We asked if we could fix those, first. Same goes with some minor wall repair in the bedroom. It’s all good, right?

Remember that kid’s book about giving a mouse a cookie, and about how if you give him that, he’ll ask for all this other stuff as well? We… are just like that. Why paint the walls, when we could fix them first? HEY! CAN WE RE TILE YOUR BATHROOM!?

Peter put his foot down on letting us completely renovate the bathroom (boo!), but joked that we could re-tile the kitchen if we wanted. I honestly don’t think he understood that it wasn’t a joke, it was permission.. 🙂

So, after he left, we went shopping for tile with Michelle. There’s this really great tile we bought at Menards after the tornado – it’s self adhesive vinyl tile, but textured and designed to look like stone. It is BEAUTIFUL in our kitchen, and works perfectly – we don’t have the cold or slippery concerns that stone tile would have, in a room apt to have water spilling on the floor.

Also, we wouldn’t need to worry about reinforcing the floor for the added weight, pulling up the existing vinyl sheet flooring, or dealing with floor leveler – unlike stone tiles, there was no risk of the tile cracking if it’s even slightly out of level.

While Porter does NOT like vinyl tile as a rule, he was fine with this. It was actually designed to be used with a vinyl grout, which also took away from the cheese factor of regular vinyl sticky tiles. All around, a great product.

Beyond the long term implications of the flooring choices, this had two other things going for it – it was relatively economical, and very easy to install. Can’t say enough good things about it, especially after all the hassle that went into tiling our bathroom (Although, I have to say – having Fibonacci sequence tiled into the wall is so far BEYOND awesome, that the hassle was worth it!), and kitchen counters/backsplash (Ditto on hassle for 159 digits of pi!).

So, given that a new year usually brings with it a to-do list of home improvements for the coming year, we’d like to show you how to install this type of tile.

Before starting, we thoroughly cleaned the floor. Tiles should be laid down on a clean, flat floor. As some of the old vinyl tile sheet was sticking up on a few edges, etc, we had to repair that first – we used a staple cut to tack those edges/corners down.

Now, decide where you want your tiles to start. For this installation, we measured the room’s main area length and width, then divided that by the total width of a tile (including the grout line extension.) As it didn’t divide cleanly, we divided the remaining measurements in two – to have an equal amount of small piece on either side of that initial row.

Using that information on where to place the first row – both in terms of length and width of the room – We laid our first row. Now, most/all such tiles will have arrows printed on the back, with the instructions to orient all tiles so that the arrows are all facing the same way. With this particular style of tile, it was even easier than that – two of the adjoining sides had a dropped extension for grout. All we had to do was to keep the corner of those two lines facing the same way (“Upper left”, in this instance):

Remove the paper backing, carefully line up the edges with tiles that had already been placed, and slip it into place:

Firmly press down on the tile to secure. You may want to use a rolling pin or a tile roller:

Continue laying whole tiles, using previously laid tiles as a guide:

While it would be perfectly ok to lay the tiles as a straight up grid, we decided to do an offset pattern. To do this, I started each successive row of tiles offset from the one before, using half the measurement of a tile as a guide to place the first one. (If the tiles are 12″, offset them by 6″, etc – Be sure to include the grout measurement when doing this!).

For that matter, if you don’t mind all the extra cutting, you could snap a chalk line diagonally across a room and end up with a diamond pattern.

Once you’ve gotten all of the whole tiles down that you can – left with an outer edge of untiled floor – it’s time to go back and cut/fill all of those little pieces.

For each section, measure the length and width – measure the width at both ends, as many houses/rooms aren’t perfectly square.

Mark the measurements down on the back of your tile, being careful to do it in such a way that the orientation of the tile will be correct when placed:

Use a box cutter and a metal ruler to cut straight lines.

Once all of the tiles are laid and pressed down well, it’s time to grout. We used a vinyl grout made specifically for vinyl tiles. Using a grout float, we pushed grout into the grout lines, then carefully scraped extra grout from the tiles on either side of each line:

Work with a small area at a time, as drying grout gets difficult to work with:

Using a wet sponge, wipe away excess grout from tiles a bit at a time – you’ll need to clean your sponge and swap out for clean water fairly often.

Once all of the grout is applied and wiped clean, allow it to dry – undisturbed -for at least 24 hours, or however long is specified on your grout directions.



Depending on the size/dimension of your room and the pattern placement you go with, this is a project that can be done SUPER quickly. Ours – two rooms – took about a day to tile (1 person), and another to grout. If you go with a straight grid pattern, it would take even less time, if you go with a diamond pattern, plan on more time.

Peter came home at the end of the week, shocked at what we’d done. Even months later, they are both delighted with their new floor, with one caveat:

They don’t sweep as much, and shock themselves when they do. This is something we’ve noticed, as well – white floors don’t camouflage dirt, so you know exactly what you’re getting into when you sweep. These floors do SUCH a good job of masking dirt.. it can be a bit unnerving if you procrastinate at all on sweeping!

What is FEMA? A Little Perspective

With Hurricane Sandy being all the rage online right now, I’m starting to notice more of what I was seeing after our tornado: that the general public has some bizarre ideas about FEMA.

Being just a few days before a major election, also noticing that many politicians either have no idea what FEMA is about, or are just capitalizing on public misconceptions to boost their own ratings. Either way…

So, as someone who has been through a natural disaster, talked with FEMA workers at length, and actually read up on everything when I wrote Twisted: A Minneapolis Tornado Memoir… I feel the need to put this out there. I was witness to how our own city had used public misconceptions to throw FEMA under the bus, diverting blame from City of Minneapolis missteps and greed… so I need to speak up. A little education is a good thing!

Note: Most of what follows is an excerpt from Twisted: A Minneapolis Tornado Memoir.

While FEMA also exists to manage some logistics during the acute phase of a natural disaster – coordinating with shelters, food stations, and power companies – it’s the financial stuff that they tend to be mentioned for. FEMA is, as one friend puts it, “a checkbook on wheels”. When it comes to the financials, FEMA exists solely to make up the difference between what a disaster actually costs, and what insurance, city, and state will pay for. They are NOT a magical lottery for disaster victims to get rich off, they are the very last line of defense against complete financial ruin in the wake of a disaster.

To put that even more clearly: A disaster victim – whether individual or municipal – must exhaust all other major financial aid streams before FEMA will kick in. That is, insurance money, then state and city aid. If that comes up short of what is needed, FEMA kicks in.

I like to relate it to losing a job. When you lose a job, your first line of defense is your unemployment insurance. This is your homeowners insurance, in the case of a disaster.

When your unemployment runs out, and things get desperate… then you may end up looking to welfare. In the case of disaster aid, this would be your city and state disaster money.

When you are at your absolute most desperate, when things are as bad as they can get, and you are living on the street… the person that gives you a blanket? That’s FEMA.

Don’t take this as any judgment on FEMA. Unlike the city of Minneapolis, whose actions were governed by greed and incompetence, being the entity that gives you that “blanket” is their actual purpose. Their availability to aid any particular disaster is dictated by the numbers – the amount of public and private damage that occurred, and the amount of front line – insurance/city/state money available to deal with it.

FEMA’s not supposed to buy you a whole new house, or make disaster victims rich. They’re supposed to step in when you are *SCREWED* beyond belief, to put it simply. You don’t WANT to qualify for individual FEMA aid.

It seems to me like the public view on FEMA is that they are more like… a Publisher’s Clearing House Prize Team waiting for them as they leave their former job, presenting them with a big check.

In Minneapolis, we were lucky. The tornado didn’t flatten us, like many tornadoes do in other areas. Yes, there was mass destruction, but it was destruction that was relatively easy to recover from. Relatively.

So, we didn’t qualify for individual aid from FEMA, though we did qualify for some infrastructure funding for street and sidewalk repairs.

I can see why people in the area were upset. We would hear about all the money that the city and/or state was putting into tornado repairs, and hear “to help victims of the tornado” all the time – but no one seems to know anyone who actually received that help. (I know that some people were able to get help from the Small Business Association several months later, but that’s it.)

When anger was directed at the city – with good reason, in my opinion – the city decided that it would be easier to throw FEMA under the bus, than to admit that the city is run by a bunch of incompetent screw ups. They’re not big on the whole “take responsibility for your own actions” thing.

So, playing on the public’s fuzzy knowledge of FEMA, the city blamed FEMA. They made it seem like a personal slight, not that we simply didn’t meet the requirements for individual FEMA aid.

At one point, the city elaborated on the “Blame FEMA” song, by fudging some numbers. They claimed that FEMA had put a figure on the amount of volunteer hours that were contributed to the cleanup effort, used it to decrease the value of the actual damage, and that FEMA was using it against the city. That we did not receive FEMA aid because of the volunteering.

The thing is, FEMA did put a dollar figure on that volunteering – but they used it in favor of the city, to boost the actual value of “funding” that the city contributed. They counted that “cost” of volunteer work against the 25% that the local has to pay to meet the 75/25 share of the cost of the disaster.

The city is supposed to pay for 25% of the tornado damage cost. FEMA counted volunteer labor as partial payment for that. Essentially, Minneapolis leveraged labor as part of their financial obligation.

Say we had 1 million in damage. The city would be required to pay $250k. If the volunteer labor was valued at, say, $100k… then the city would only be on the hook for $150k in ACTUAL money.

I pulled those numbers out of my ass, just to illustrate. I don’t know the actual values of the damage or volunteer “value”. The point is, it’s a far cry from “FEMA is screwing us over because they reduced the damage value because of the volunteers, and NOW we don’t qualify as a result”.

I’m all for being angry over how this was handled, but the anger should be directed at those who ACTUALLY dropped the ball.

From my view, FEMA did absolutely nothing wrong.

While FEMA was able to have people from other regions on the ground here within days… even a year and a half later, no one from the city has come by to check on things, other than the inspectors with regard to permits. The FEMA people who came to our door seemed genuinely concerned with what had happened, and actually seemed like they were working FOR us. That was in stark contrast to constantly having to fight the city for anything.

FEMA has to sit back and be thrown under the bus by a crooked, greedy, and incompetent city that is more than happy to use FEMA funds to repair (some) sidewalks and roads.

Truly, I have to wonder how often FEMA offices have to replace their desks. I’m sure they end up with many head-shaped dents from dealing with all of this idiocy.

Also, FYI: FEMA has online courses that anyone can take, free of charge. Independent study courses that teach the principles of emergency management – the same courses that FEMA makes the cities take. Most classes take about an hour, and you can even get a certificate at the end of each.

In other words, if you have an hour, you can have a better understanding of emergency management than our city apparently does.

If you’re interested, visit training.fema.gov.

In closing, I’d like to repeat what I’d said as part of the Acknowledgements section of Twisted:

“Thank you FEMA, for your quick response to the tornado, and honestly trying to help us. While we may not have qualified for individual assistance, I want you to know that some of us appreciate your efforts, and your obviously caring & concerned employees on the ground here. It’s nice to know that part of the government was looking out for us, even when our local government was NOT. ”

My heart goes out to the victims of Hurricane Sandy, and I wish you all the best for a speedy and drama-free recovery.

On the afternoon of May 22, 2011, North Minneapolis was devastated by a tornado. Twisted recounts the Porters’ first 11 months, post disaster. Rebuilding their house, working around the challenges presented by inadequate insurance coverage. Frustration at repeated bouts of incompetence and greed from their city officials. Dealing with issues such as loss of control, logistics, change, and over-stimulation, as an Aspergian woman.

Subjects covered include: Opportunistic “Vultures”, gawkers, new friendships, a bizarre gingerbread house, unique decisions made with the rebuild – including an internet-famous kitchen backsplash, “Tornado Claus”, contractor drama, water balloons, DIY design and work, music, sensory overload, and details on how to cook jambalaya for almost 300 people, in the parking lot of a funeral home… should you ever find yourself in the position to do so. Order your hard copy here, or digital edition here.

Caturday & Tornado Update

Just a quick post here today, because today is a BIG DAY here in the Porter House!

Remember back when the 100+ year old black walnut tree that we had – that we LOVED – was uprooted and destroyed our house in the tornado? As you may recall, by day # 2 of being Tornado Victims*, we made the decision to have that gorgeous tree milled down and dried, with the plans to rebuild the kitchen with it.

Well, yesterday afternoon I found out that today is the day that we will be getting all of the wood back. Every last little bit of what remains of the tree that not only destroyed our house, but uprooted our entire life for the past 14 months (and counting!). The tree that I spent probably 7 months stressing out about, racing the clock to get it hauled and processed. The biggest, most irreplaceable loss we had in the tornado.

It was an emotional afternoon for me. Lots of crying and listening to 2 Unlimited videos ensued.

Today, I’m far more composed, and ready to take the next step. This morning, I’ll be renting a truck and driving an hour to the mill to pick it all up, while my husband clears room in the basement to store it all… then, the fun begins!

For us, it’s been a bizarre mix of being thrifty (It didn’t cost much more to get it processed, than it would have to have it removed… and we’d be needing to buy wood to rebuild the kitchen anyway!), not wasting (The idea of it being mulched along with so many other downed trees was heartbreaking), sentimentality (We’ll forever have a reminder of what happened, and feel like we were “Doing right” by the tree… however “hippie” that may sound!)… and spite.

Yep, for us…. it feels a bit like giving a resounding “Screw you TOO!” to mother nature. Also a bit like displaying the head of an enemy up on a post, as a warning to other would-be invaders.

Yes… it’s going to feel great to have the kitchen finished, for so many reasons.

I digress – CATURDAY!

So, one of my friends / tweeps sent me a link this week: An article about a cat video festival, which just so happens to be going on only a few short miles from us.

Yes. This. Exists.

So, I felt the need to submit a few videos of our babies. I have no idea if I’m biased or not, but I love these videos… hope you enjoy them as well!

* Though we have at least 5-6 months to go in repairs, we’re not Tornado Victims anymore… we’re Tornado BADASSES.

On the afternoon of May 22, 2011, North Minneapolis was devastated by a tornado. Twisted recounts the Porters’ first 11 months, post disaster. Rebuilding their house, working around the challenges presented by inadequate insurance coverage. Frustration at repeated bouts of incompetence and greed from their city officials. Dealing with issues such as loss of control, logistics, change, and over-stimulation, as an Aspergian woman.

Subjects covered include: Opportunistic “Vultures”, gawkers, new friendships, a bizarre gingerbread house, unique decisions made with the rebuild – including an internet-famous kitchen backsplash, “Tornado Claus”, contractor drama, water balloons, DIY design and work, music, sensory overload, and details on how to cook jambalaya for almost 300 people, in the parking lot of a funeral home… should you ever find yourself in the position to do so. Order your hard copy here, or digital edition here.

“Happy Anniversary” Seems like a Weird Thing to Say… for a Tornado.

Today marks the first anniversary of our tornado, here in North Minneapolis. I am completely overwhelmed with my thoughts, so you’ll have to excuse me if this post is all over the place.

This is such a weird time of year for us, with all of the focus on the anniversary. Some coverage is negative, some is positive and hopeful – both with good reason. There was an awful lot of both good AND bad throughout this whole ordeal. I look back on our own experiences, and it’s exhausting.

I’m so tired. My husband is so tired. I’m completely sick of construction, and of most of our formerly-free time being dedicated to it. I can’t wait to be done with it – I’ll never want to see a plank of plywood or a power tool again!

On the other hand, our progress is spectacular. I am completely in love with our new back yard, even though it’s not finished. The exterior of our house is super cute – it may have been a ton of work, but DAMN it looks good! Our kitchen is coming along great – so much more amazing than I ever could have imagined when we bought the house. While sometime sit feels like we’ll never be done, at others I can’t help but marvel at how much we’ve accomplished in 1 year.

As with my feelings on our progress are very mixed, so are my feelings on people.

On one hand… man, I am so sick of the “Armchair Disaster Victims”. It’s a particularly grotesque and heartless breed of internet troll – ones who would rather sit behind a screen an anonymously spew hate about people in the disaster area, than roll up their sleeves. They make me angry… but they also make me pity them. I don’t know how anyone can get by in life, with that much hate. It’s completely ridiculous, and it’s been sad and discouraging to see how this area of the city has suffered so much neglect and derision.

On the other hand… I’ve really seen the best of people over the past year! Closest to us, we were blown away by the kindness and generosity exhibited by the local, national, and even international geek communities. Knowing that so many strangers had our back and were rooting for us was amazing. We received a bit of financial help from friends and strangers alike, and we had many friends – old and new – out to help out with the cleanup effort here.

Beyond the confines of our own property, we were amazed and impressed with how the community came together in this time of need. People who had been strangers up til that point broke bread together, grilled together, and lent each other a hand. Strangers offered up hugs and friendship to people who were in shock and upset.

Peter Kerre and the other volunteers behind the North Minneapolis Post Tornado Watch website have been nothing short of SUPERHEROES this entire time. One year later, and they’re still very active in distributing information and helping the community rebuild. As a logistics nerd, I have nothing but the highest praise for all of those involved with that effort. You were the most honest, unbiased, thorough, accurate, and efficient way for those of us in the tornado area to receive any information, whether immediately after the tornado, or months afterwards. I remain completely, jaw-droppingly impressed with the job you guys did.

By stark contrast, it’s almost noon on the 1st anniversary, and the City of Minneapolis has yet to so much as mention the tornado on *their* Facebook page, and hasn’t in a while now.

Last night, I posted to ask them if they would be marking the occasion, and their reply was simply “The city is doing a memorial tree planting tomorrow morning.”. I asked for further information, none was provided, google is no help. Not quite sure why they’re going so quiet with it, you’d think they’d want the positive publicity.


We feel that the tornado has changed us, for the better. We’re stronger, both mentally and physically. We’re more skilled, having learned to do all sorts of things that we had never tried, prior to the tornado. Should disaster ever strike, I think we’re more ready for it. Beyond having good insurance coverage now, we’ve… been inoculated.

Beyond being prepared, should it ever happen again… we’re prepared to start paying forward all of the help we received. We recently purchased a chain saw, specifically to have one on hand, should we need to step in and help someone out with fallen trees, etc.

We’ve learned to see – and expect – the best in people. If nothing else, this entire experience has taught us to be more social, and inspired us to strive to be better, more active friends… and members of the community.

It really is hard to process and verbalize everything that comes to mind, as I think about the past year.

As time progresses, the overall picture has become overwhelmingly positive. It’s easier to get over the stress of that day, and focus on all the good that has happened since. It made sound weird and crass to say, but if it weren’t for the tornado, we wouldn’t have made the friends we did, and ventured out into our community. We wouldn’t necessarily have learned those new skills – physical and emotional – and our house wouldn’t be anywhere near as cute as it is now.

I’d have another cookbook out, sure – the one I had been working on when we were hit, and which has been sidelined ever since.

Don’t get me wrong, my cookbooks are great – I’m so proud of them – but… I wouldn’t have had the experience of writing Twisted: A Minneapolis Tornado Memoir. It was just such an emotional, raw, fulfilling, and eventually uplifting experience… I wouldn’t exchange it for anything. I’m amazed at the amount of information and experiences that I was able to stitch together between two covers – and that I did so without a complete mental breakdown.

“Twisted” will probably have the bulk of my attention over the coming while. Knowing how my mind works, it’s a welcome distraction from where my head WOULD be right now, had I not written it.

My thoughts go out to all of my fellow tornado victims… no, fellow tornado BADASSES.. Today. Whether locally, or in other tornado zones – stay strong.

On the afternoon of May 22, 2011, North Minneapolis was devastated by a tornado. Twisted recounts the Porters’ first 11 months, post disaster. Rebuilding their house, working around the challenges presented by inadequate insurance coverage. Frustration at repeated bouts of incompetence and greed from their city officials. Dealing with issues such as loss of control, logistics, change, and over-stimulation, as an Aspergian woman.

Subjects covered include: Opportunistic “Vultures”, gawkers, new friendships, a bizarre gingerbread house, unique decisions made with the rebuild – including an internet-famous kitchen backsplash, “Tornado Claus”, contractor drama, water balloons, DIY design and work, music, sensory overload, and details on how to cook jambalaya for almost 300 people, in the parking lot of a funeral home… should you ever find yourself in the position to do so. Order your hard copy here, or digital edition here.

So… You’ve Been Hit by a Tornado.

Note: I am intentionally NOT including photos in this article, as I know that I sure didn’t want to see such photos right after our house was hit by a tornado. Links point to blog entries that can have photos, however

We’re now at just over 9 months since having our own lives turned upside down by the May 22, 2011 Minneapolis tornado. We’re far along enough in our repairs , that we’re more able to notice what’s going on in the rest of the world… right in time for a major tornado season. Awesome. :/

Watching the coverage of the insane amount of Tornadoes that hit on Friday was incredibly rough. While a lot of the imagery was far beyond what we experienced here last spring, it stirred up a lot of extremely vivid memories of those first few days.

I’ll be honest – just hearing “Tornado Cleanup Forecast” made me tear up. I remember what it was like, not having an intact roof, and just dreading rain in the forecast. I remember listening to the rain fall on our tarp, just dreading any further damage as a result. I’ve never felt so powerless in my whole life… NOT a great feeling.

It’s now four days since the tornado outbreak, so I’m assuming a lot of the immediate must-dos have been taken care of – I’ve seen many to-do lists in the media. Turn the power off, etc. It’s great, but I’m not seeing any “been there, done that” type real-world advice for what to consider next. You know, the kind of advice I could have used at that point in the game.

So, in the interest of paying forward some of the help we received in our time of need, I’d like to offer up some tips based on the lessons we’ve learned. Most of these may seem like little things, but will go a long way to keeping you sane, whether now or down the road.

1. Take Photos FIRST.

It can take your insurance company days to come by – and some people in our area had to wait WEEKS. Take photos of EVERYTHING before you even start to clear debris. Let them know you’re doing so, before you start cleanup. We had it easy for insurance, but we’ve heard of so many horror stories to come out of “our” tornado.

2. Don’t Go Cheap on Garbage Bags.

We made this mistake early on. When cleaning up the rubble and debris, you’re going to come across stuff you never accounted for – We found broken vinyl tile in our bedroom. It wasn’t from our house! Luckily, our new friend Tara (Who came to the rescue when a mutual friend mentioned us needing volunteers!) Came to the rescue with contractor bags. It seems like a little thing, but it made life so much easier. Also, we found out later – there is a big difference in quality even in contractor bags. Get the good, heavy duty ones.

3. Make Use of Social Media.

First off, get online and make sure to post a message on EVERY outlet you have, that you are ok (or not), and a brief update about the situation. Not only will this put your friends and loved ones at ease to a degree, it will free up your phone from some of the frantic calls you’d be receiving to see if you’re ok. Especially if you’re without power, trust me on this – that cell phone battery will come in HANDY. Conserve it.

Once you’ve gotten word out that yes, you’ve been hit, and yes, you’re alive, it’s time to use social media as the wonderful tool it can be. To this day, I have NO idea how we would have gotten through it all without Twitter, especially.

– Ask questions. For us, I needed to find out information about tree milling / removal. Rather than waste my battery searching sites, I put the question out to my wonderful “hive mind”, and could follow up with the leads that were messaged to me. It saved me a lot of precious time, and it saved my battery. I asked for hotel recommendations that would allow cats.

Know that there are people out there who are watching the coverage of what you are going through, and even being able to look up resources for someone involved lets them feel like they can HELP.

– Ask for volunteers. When we were hit, there was no way we’d have been able to get the rubble/trees cleared by ourselves, and the organized city help didn’t come until two weeks after the fact. When we put out the call for help, not only were friends willing to stop by and chip in, we had a couple friends-of-friends show up as well.

– Once you’ve figured out what you need, put it out there. You will be asked a million times about what someone can do, if you need donations of anything, etc. Make a list, post it to a blog/facebook / give it to someone who has a blog. It will help people help you, and again – will save you time, and battery power. Also, my friend Char would like to add: “Don’t stress about paying back favors; pay them forward to someone else who needs help”.

– Vent if you need to. Tornadoes are TOTAL bullshit, the experience is horrible, and really… letting off some steam out on the internet is a lot better than letting it out at your spouse.

4. Start a Notebook.

Right after the tornado, we bought a zip up binder with pockets in it, and put it to good use. Write EVERYTHING down, you never know what will come in handy later.

Write down important dates. When did your construction start? When did WHAT get fixed? How long were you in the hotel? All of this can come in handy later, and your memory of the events in the weeks following the tornado will get fuzzy.

Save ALL your receipts, no matter how insignificant. Bought bottled water or lunch for your cleanup volunteers? Save the receipt! You never know what you’ll need for financial records down the road, and it’s better to be over prepared than missing something.

For us, our insurance covered FAR less than the actual damage ($90k insurance, $150k+ in damages… not including my car, the yard, the tree, or hotel stay for the several weeks that the house wasn’t liveable). When we looked at getting a government disaster loan, we hadn’t managed to save absolutely EVERY receipt, and it came back to haunt us later. I know it’s easy enough to consider a receipt insignificant at the time, but trust me – they add up FAST.

5. Be Prepared to Encounter the LOWEST Forms of “Humanity”.

Vultures. They still make my blood boil, to this day. Within hours of the tornado, we had crews of sales people descending on the area, signs under their arms, just littering the area with their advertising.

We had door to door salesmen that same afternoon… and I’m still surprised I never ended up ACTUALLY assaulting someone. (I did tell one that if he took one more step up my sidewalk, I would punch him right in the face).

While I was cleaning the broken windshields out of my car, just MINUTES after finding out that the car was going to “live” (we’d just cut it out from under the big tree that landed on it), some jackass drove up and offered to “do me a favor” and give me $100 for it.

These people can make you come pretty close to homicidal. Trust me on this. I’m pretty sure that the fact that I don’t yet have citizenship was the only thing that kept me from ripping at LEAST one head off with my bare hands.

Pretty late in the game, I picked up a box of water balloons, filled them, and put them in a basket by the door. Somehow, this – almost magically – kept them away. It was like some twisted Murphy’s Law addendum. If I had my time back, I would have set up for water balloons early. Not only would it be a quick way to get them off what remains of your property, it would be good for the sanity, and keep some of those homicidal ideations at bay.

6. Check out your Contractor before Paying.

We had our own issues with a contractor – signing the contract, paying the deposit, then having them try to add a ton of extra stuff afterwards, abuse me on my front lawn, and then walk out of the contract. All we wanted was for them to do what was on the contract, at the price quoted.

For us, it was hard to get someone out to even quote the job. We refused to hire the vultures that I mentioned earlier, and – in this area – racial and class issues scared off a LOT of the potential contracting companies. I lost track of the excuses that were made to avoid coming into “that area” for work. It made it hard NOT to just sign the first person that was willing to quote it… being without a roof will make a person do desperate things.

A friend that I’ve made since the tornado, Jen of Prior Fat Girl went through a similar thing:

“I wish we’d listened to the advice of checking out a contractor before paying. Work still not finished. 90% of the way done.”

7. Try to Take Care of Yourself.

It is REALLY easy to either not eat at all, forget to drink water, or just grab whatever junk is available. Trust us on this, the work that needs to be done will be a LOT easier if you try to get a decent night’s sleep, enough water, and proper food. Also… WEAR SUNSCREEN.

8. Get Strategic with your Purchases

Let me be clear here – if I NEVER see the inside of a Menards again as long as I live… I’ll be happier for it. I don’t even want to know how many times we were at Menards this summer, or how many (TENS OF THOUSANDS of) dollars we spent there as the result of having to DIY a lot of our repairs.

BUT… if you plan things, Menards can be a great way to save money on your repair bills. We had the Menards credit card, which put 2% of everything we bought into a rebate at the end of the year. Even though we had insurance cash for our purchases, we put EVERYTHING on the card, and paid it off minutes later. (There were days we made multiple trips to Menards!) That 2% adds up FAST when you’re recovering from a disaster situation.

Another thing that really helped out was the 11% rebate program they had this summer, and seem to have every once in a while. When it came, we made a list of EVERY big purchase we’d be needing in the next few months, and bought it all during that sale. I mean, even the stuff we weren’t ready for. When we had a choice, we opted for items that also had a rebate, and the stacked rebates added up quickly. DEFINITELY try and time your future repair purchases around sales like that, if at all possible.

The $500ish rebate check we received from that one sale went a LONG way towards purchasing other stuff since, and will also help when we need to landscape this coming spring.

This has been an unpaid, unsolicited comment, by the way. Menards is where we went, as it was close… other places may have similar offerings, but I’m only really familiar with Menards.

Seriously, Menards.. You need to start a VIP program after events like a tornado. Putting a martini in my hand as soon as you saw us coming, and offering up foot rubs while we waited at the order desk would have made the whole tornado experience a bit more pleasant 🙂

Of course, Menards may not be a thing where you are… but credit cards that collect points / do cashback, other stores with reward points, etc are all possibilities also! Had we been in Canada… we’d be swimming in Air Miles as a result of the whole ordeal!


That’s about it for what we could come up with. If you’re reading this… anything to add?

On the afternoon of May 22, 2011, North Minneapolis was devastated by a tornado. Twisted recounts the Porters’ first 11 months, post disaster. Rebuilding their house, working around the challenges presented by inadequate insurance coverage. Frustration at repeated bouts of incompetence and greed from their city officials. Dealing with issues such as loss of control, logistics, change, and over-stimulation, as an Aspergian woman.

Subjects covered include: Opportunistic “Vultures”, gawkers, new friendships, a bizarre gingerbread house, unique decisions made with the rebuild – including an internet-famous kitchen backsplash, “Tornado Claus”, contractor drama, water balloons, DIY design and work, music, sensory overload, and details on how to cook jambalaya for almost 300 people, in the parking lot of a funeral home… should you ever find yourself in the position to do so. Order your hard copy here, or digital edition here.

Tornado Updates – Finished Exterior: A Progression of Pics

Tornado Updates…

So, I’ll be completely without a kitchen for a little while now, having removed *everything* but the appliances, in order to prepare for the cabinet making.

Not the best situation for a food blogger, so… rather than let this blog go stale, I’ll take the time to post repair/renovation tornado updates! Today: The exterior! (more…)

North Minneapolis Tornado Recovery Updates – Finished Bathroom (With pics!) and more.

Wow, it’s been a LONG few months here!

A you may recall, I demolished the bathroom– by myself! – back at the end of June. We’ve been picking away at the repairs and renovations in there ever since.

WELL. We’re finally DONE! YES! It feels so good to have a fully functional bathroom!

Let me share the photos! First, a couple before shots… it really was an ugly bathroom…

ugly bathroom (more…)