When I about 11 or 12, I spent a summer at the CalAlta Figure Skating Club in Calgary. Loved the rink, had a really nice coach…

… but the rink and the coach aren’t what inspired this blog entry. It was the giant muffins that they sold there. I’m pretty sure they were from Costco.. each was way too big to be eaten in one serving. My favorite was the pina colada muffin, which I’d never seen before then. Upon my return to Winnipeg, searches of Costco failed to turn up these muffins, much to my dismay at the time. Anyway, last weekend I woke up from a dream about those skating days, and with the muffins included. I decided to design a recipe around the idea of them. I wouldn’t be going for authentic, as their muffins were actually pretty dry. So, here we are. Moist, tender pina colada flavored muffins! One of the tweaks I made to the source content was to top the muffins with coconut flakes prior to baking, which would allow them to toast up in the process. Pretty AND tasty!

Pina Colada Muffins
Makes 12 muffins

2-1/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups coconut flakes (sweetened or not), divided
1 cup brown sugar
2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
2 eggs, lightly beaten
3/4 cup coconut cream (NOT creamed coconut – and shake the can well first!)
1/2 cup butter, melted and cooled
1 cup pineapple puree*
1 tsp. rum extract

Preheat oven to 375 F. Line 12 muffin cups with liners, or spray with baking spray.

In a large bowl, combine flour, 1 cup of the coconut, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Make a well in center of flour mixture; set aside.

In another bowl, combine eggs, coconut cream, melted butter, pineapple puree, and rum extract. Add egg mixture all at once to the flour mixture.

Stir just until moistened (batter should be lumpy.) Divide batter between 12 prepared muffin cups, filling each to almost full. Sprinkle remaining coconut over muffin batter in cups.

Bake in a 375 degree F oven for 18 to 20 minutes or until golden and a wooden toothpick inserted in centers comes out clean. Cool in muffin cups on a wire rack for 5 minutes. Remove from muffin cups; serve warm. Makes 12 muffins.

* For pineapple puree, I drained a 20 oz can of pineapple chunks, then pureed the chunks. You can use crushed pineapple if you would like, just drain it really well first!

Today’s guest blog entry is from one of the closest friends I made from the whole MasterChef ordeal ADVENTURE – Carrie Landry Peterson.

In LA, she and Carrie Stevens shared the room next to mine. During our downtime, Carrie and I would hang out – Boozy disposable coffee cups in hand – and swap conspiracy theories and observations about the general nonsense that surrounded us.

Since getting home… well, things are more or less the same. Swap out a hot, humid hotel hallway for our respective homes, add a couple phones, and change out the paper cups for real glasses. You know, except when we’re feeling nostalgic!

Love this girl!

Hello Everyone! My name is Carrie Peterson and I’m an Airline Pilot who loves to cook! By now, you all know that Marie appeared on the FOX show MasterChef! This is how she had, I mean..I had the pleasure of meeting her! Marie has asked me to share with you, my “wicked good” Whoopie Pie recipe. Whoopie Pies you ask?!? Yup, this would be the dessert that I have made since the ripe age of 8! I can make these scrumptious desserts in my sleep. So what better dish for me to make on my MasterChef TV audition, right?!?! Right… So here is a little history on my beloved dessert…The Whoopie Pie was created in 1925 by Labadie’s Bakery in Lewiston, Maine. It’s the official state treat, does your state have an official treat? No? Well, what are you waiting for? Get on it!! I’m not sure what Marie has shared with all of you fabulous people about her experience on MasterChef. Lets just say…it was interesting! We have all made 99 new friends for life! We have also learned that boxed wine served in to go coffee cups is like a glass of heaven after a long day of filming! I wish we could share more with you… Like who won, but you will have to watch yourselves!! Sorry!

Ok, enough of my rambling on….may I present to you, my “wicked good” Whoopie Pie recipe.

WHOOPIE PIES

Cakes: 3 c sugar 1 c butter (room temp) 4 eggs 1/2 c vegetable oil 1 tbsp vanilla 6 c flour 2 c unsweetened cocoa powder 1 tsp baking powder 1 1/2 tbsp baking soda 1 tsp salt 3 c milk Filling: 1 1/2 c shortening 3 c confectioners’ sugar 1 1/3 c marshmallow topping Dash of salt 1 tsp vanilla 1/3 to 1/2 c milk Preheat oven to 350′ or convection oven to 315′. In a large bowl using a mixer, beat sugar, butter, and eggs. Add the oil and vanilla and beat again.

In a separate bowl, combine all of the dry ingredients. Add half of the dry ingredients to the egg mixture, stir or beat to blend. Add 1 1/2 c milk and beat again. Add the remaining dry mixture, blend until incorporated. Add the remaining 1 1/2 c milk and blend.

Depending on what size cake you would like (I make several sizes, depending on what it is for) you can use a large spoon or a measuring cup. Scoop your desired size cake batter on a cookie sheet (I line mine with parchment paper). Bake for 10-12 minutes. Let cool on wire rack.

In a bowl using an electric mixer, combine all of the ingredients except the milk and beat well. Add just enough milk to achieve a creamy frosting. Spread the filling on one cake half and top it with another cake half.

This recipe makes either 16 LARGE Whoopie Pies or 50 or so small Whoopie Pies.

Let me know what you all think!

Carrie xx

So, we’re one week the big day – MasterChef premieres on May 22..

I’ve been back from filming for a while now. While the initial trauma is long gone (I almost passed out at the TSA in LA, phased in and out of consciousness my whole trip home, and then slept for four days – something I’ve never done in my life!), there is one thing that remains.

I still have no idea how I’m going to be able to watch next week’s 2 hour premiere, which features the “auditions”. Not a sweet clue.

Let me back up a little… going into the experience, I thought I had prepared for everything. I was absolutely confident that there was nothing that this experience could throw at me, that I couldn’t handle. I can cook anything! I worked on sensory training! I knew that the “Reality” of reality TV was bullshit, and that there was the unspoken “game” to play with the producers.

… but there was one thing that caught me completely off guard, and really screwed with me: I made friends.

If you’re a longtime reader here, you know that I’m a bit of a misanthrope. Humans – as an overall data set – are awful, and extremely difficult to get along with and/or even just relate to. Part of that is growing up different than everyone, as someone with Aspergers. Part of that is a holdover from how random people have treated me, my whole life. Part of that is just seeing what society has become, what passes for acceptable behavior, and what behaviors are actually rewarded.

Most of it is that by and large, people are illogical, and that frustrates me to no end.

Individuals – separated from that overall data set – can be ok. Hell, some individuals are awesome. It’s not that I can’t stand persons, it’s that I can’t stand *people* – and going into this, I knew I’d be surrounded by 99 PEOPLE – in addition to all of the producers, staff, etc. That’s just not a good situation for me.

I hoped that my roommate would be tolerable, and planned to spend all of my time alone, studying. I knew what kind of people made it on to reality TV, and I knew I was not one of them. There’s a reason you don’t see a lot of Aspies and Auties on reality TV, and really… if it wasn’t for being underinsured for the tornado damage by well over $60k… there’s no way in hell I’d be doing this. Desperate times, desperate measures.

Well, then some weird things happened.

Sitting at the Minneapolis airport on the morning of my flight out to LA, I was almost a wreck. I’d just said goodbye to my husband, and was seriously questioning my judgement on doing this. I waited for my flight… and then a familiar face walked towards me. It was Liyah, someone I’d talked some smack with at the pre-show psych appointment.

I was so happy to see her (Up til that point, I had NO idea who had made it through!), I almost cried. Actually, I may have teared up, now that I think about it… it’s been a long time.

We sat together and chatted for most of the flight. On our layover, we met up with Joan – a woman I recognized from my initial audition group. The three of us sat together on the second leg of the journey, and I felt like… OK. I know two people, they’re nice. That’s all I need, I can handle this.

Shortly after arriving at the hotel, we were giving the opportunity to go shopping for snacks, drinks, etc for the hotel rooms. We piled into vans, and started meeting each other.

… there were so many super cool people in my van. I actually LIKED them. Like, a lot.

At the grocery store, two of the guys chatted me up about my “Magneto was Right” shirt, and various geekery. One of them – Damian Legion – showed me his Dalek tattoo. OMG! Genuine geeks! I wasn’t alone!

It wasn’t just geeks, though. There were people of all types there, and that van ride was probably the most fun I’ve had with strangers ever. This was a good group.

Later that night, I said and did something that still shocks me, months later. I’m still not sure that my husband believed me when I told him this, either… but I swear it happened:

I was sitting at a table with my new friends, feeling comfortable. I have NO idea where this ‘inspiration’ came from, but I stood up, said “I’m going to go mingle!”, excused myself and then DID SO. MINGLE!!

Insane. Hasn’t happened before, probably won’t happen again. Apparently I forgot to pack my “introvert”.

Over the better part of a week, we got to know each other – hanging out at the pool, hanging out in the lobby, a couple mall excursions, etc. I spent very little time studying, which surprised me. I’d heard that we would be on much stricter lockdown after the “auditions”, and wanted to make the best use of my time – I could study later.

When the show tried to provoke a “big autistic meltdown”, there were many people who helped me out, talked me down, calmed me. They went above and beyond, and they barely knew me… that will always stick out to me. These were good people, with only a few exceptions.

Then, the first day of auditions came. While I wasn’t auditioning til the second day, I can honestly say that the first day of auditions was the most traumatic day of my life. I’m not saying this lightly – I would sooner go through another tornado, than to go through that day again. I mean… no question.

All of my grand plans to remain cool and collected on camera went right out the window with the first person to be eliminated. It was someone I liked, and someone I expected was a given to go through, so yeah, I was shocked. (Don’t take this as a spoiler, the show will very likely rearrange the order of auditions when airing!)

That wasn’t the problem though – I realized right then that I had never actually been exposed to someone in the moment that they had their dreams destroyed. I’ve never seen someone that devastated. I’ve never seen THAT LOOK on someone’s face before. Months later, my hands are shaking as I type this, my heart just started racing, and I’m tearing up. In the moment that she came out that door without an apron, the look on her face… I’ll never forget it.

I may not have gotten PTSD from the tornado, but THAT moment traumatized me for life, I’m sure of it. I’m definitely symptomatic for PTSD over it, even months later. I’ve had nightmares about her coming out of that door, about her face, and the way it made me feel. (Chickie, you know I love ya… please don’t take that the wrong way!)

I honestly thought that I was going to throw up. My stomach knotted up and lurched. My CHEST hurt. I started into an adrenaline response, and was in physical pain from it… all from seeing a face. I cried.

All day, it was a stream of this devastation, peppered with the odd apron victory. For each person, they had us all line up for when the big door opened, and one one after another, we’d find out their fate, seconds after they did. I cried all day, and I’m sure the other contestants thought I was either crazy, or a big baby. Maybe I am – but I was NOT prepared for any of that. It wasn’t even just seeing my friends eliminated, it was people that I hadn’t even met yet. Every last one of them, that look in their eyes, THAT FACE… each one shook me to the core.

The part that confuses me is that I actually KNOW faces. I was diagnosed with Aspergers fairly early on, in my early teens. I made a point of studying faces, seeing it as a deficiency I had, and the “fix” seemed pretty simple – pattern recognition. Never once in my life – during studying faces or not – have I seen THAT facial expression up close, whether as a flash card, or in person. I’m sure I’ve probably seen it on TV at a distance, but damn… I never want to see it again.

I was afforded a brief respite from the carnage in the form of our required shopping trip, for those of us cooking the next day… and then I came back to the set to find that two of the people I’d grown closest to had been eliminated, and whisked away… I never even got to say goodbye.

I completely lost it.

That day ended very, very late. As we headed back to the hotel – tired, overstimulated, starving, and dehydrated – it felt very familiar to me, in an eerie and upsetting way. It felt *EXACTLY* like what I had felt like on the day of the tornado, as we headed to our temporary “home” at the end of a very long, very emotional day.

So… if I’m a total wreck at the viewing party next week, this is why. THIS is why I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to watch it. I feel sick right now, even just thinking about it.

Edited to add: I wrote this entry about two weeks ago. Shortly after, I went to see a therapist for PTSD treatment, realizing that I had not been able to handle it on my own, even after several months.

While I still find the subject of the first day of auditions to be horrible, I can at least think/talk about it without shakes and tears now. I maintain that I would find going through another tornado to be a far more pleasant experience, and I’m not prone to hyperbole.

I’m still not sure I’m ready to see the faces again, although I am – at the same time – excited to see all of my new friends on TV. I’m curious to see how things went, how the show edits everyone… and to be able to supply the words and support NOW, that escaped me at the time.

My viewing party is being held at Banana Blossom, an awesome little Asian restaurant on Lowry in Minneapolis, Wednesday May 22 at 6:45 pm – open to the public. This restaurant was smashed in the same tornado that my house was, and was closed for an entire year to rebuild. Come hungry, buy a lot of food! Later in the evening, we will be sampling my Mango Mojito Upside Down Cake, my “signature dish” in my audition!

Recently, my friend Susi made a VERY quick trip to Minnesota. She moved away almost two years ago – on the DAY of our tornado, no less. Great timing on her part, but we’ve missed her ever since. As has become tradition, we met up at Psycho Suzi’s for drinks, nibbles, and great conversation.

Breaking from “tradition”… this was the first time I’d been back to that restaurant since I regained my ability to tolerate gluten. Though the menu had now VASTLY opened up to me, I ended up ordering the same thing I usually ordered – the “Backfire” dip. While the dip itself is listed as gluten free, the normal accompaniment – baguette – is decidedly NOT… and I always had to order mine with corn chips. This time, I was looking forward to trying my old favorite in the way it was intended, and it did not disappoint! That night, I decided that the time had come to start making it at home. The dip is just far too good to reserve for the times when we’re willing to brave the loud, sensory-overload environment at the restaurant. I bought the ingredients the next morning, banged out a recipe, and … Wow. I had decided to make my version creamier and cheesier than the source material, and added white wine and provolone. The end result is nothing short of spectacular. Definitely the best artichoke dip I’ve ever had!

This makes a fair amount of dip, so it’s great for parties. If you – like us – only have a couple of people to feed, never fear – it reheats well, and it’s just way too addictive to go to waste. You will plow through a batch in no time!

Jalepeno Artichoke Dip
Inspired by Psycho Suzi‘s “Backfire” Dip

2 cans artichoke hearts (Artichoke size doesn’t matter), drained and chopped
1 red bell pepper, seeded and roughly chopped
3 jalapeno peppers, finely chopped*
1 Tbsp olive oil
3 garlic cloves, pressed or finely minced
1/2 cup dry white wine
1 1/2 bricks (8 oz each) cream cheese, softened
1 1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese, divided
8 oz provolone cheese, shredded
1 tsp fresh lemon zest
1/2 tsp pepper
salt to taste

Heat broiler to high.

In a large saucepan over medium high heat, cook artichoke hearts, peppers, olive oil, and garlic together for a few minutes, until peppers soften a little. Add white wine, cook for another minute.

Carefully mix in softened cream cheese, stirring gently until smooth and well incorporated. Continue heating, stirring frequently, until cheese starts to bubble.

Add in 1 cup of the Parmesan, all of the provolone, as well as the lemon zest and pepper. Stir constantly, until all cheese is melted and smooth. Season with salt, to taste.

Transfer mixture to an oven safe glass baking dish, such as Pyrex – we used a large Pyrex loaf pan. Sprinkle with remaining 1/4 cup of parmesan cheese.

Broil for a few minutes, until the top of the dip is as browned as you’d like it. Serve hot, with sliced crusty baguette or veggies. Serving corn chips with it is a great option to keep it gluten free, if needed!

* You can remove the seeds and ribs if you’d like a more mild dip – we left it all in.

Ok, so this week’s Eurodance Monday isn’t Euro. I swear I’m not looking to make this a long term trend! Like most posts this month, this is MasterChef related.

I’m not going to lie – pretty much every step of this little adventure has been completely bizarre to me. I still haven’t even wrapped my head around the idea that I – of ALL PEOPLE – had the thought “I should try out for a ‘reality’ show” even cross my mind, never mind stuck it all out to fruition. Hrmm, impulse control issues?

Anyway.

So, having gone through this whole thing, from decision to arriving in LA… all the way through the first few days of life in sequester? I was still sort of wondering if I was dreaming. I mean, I’m a very lucid dreamer – there were a few points where I was really second guessing my sleep status.

The night before the LA “auditions” started, I had a really surreal experience in the hotel lobby with a few other “contestants”. Like, I stood back from what was going on and actually thought to myself “Man, this feels like something that would air on a commercial for something trashy, like Jersey Shore. I’m so glad no one is filming!”. Reading that now, I’m not sure that I’m actually capable of describing how surreal the moment was. I actually considered the possibility that some of those involved were actors, and I was being punked. LOL!

Anyway.

So the next morning – with that still fresh in mind – we woke up, tried to get a quick bite to eat in our hotel room, and got dressed and ready for the day’s adventures. I headed out to the lobby, sat down, and IMMEDIATELY OMC’s “How Bizarre” came on over the hotel’s speakers. It was a lot like last Monday’s blog entry, life just providing the perfect soundtrack. In addition to seeming perfect for the bizarre reality I was living at the moment, it was bizarre in that I hadn’t heard the song in FOREVER – maybe not since I moved to the USA! – so the randomness really struck me.

Now, I’m sure most people don’t know the lyrics beyond the chorus (doesn’t EVERYONE know the chorus?), but I have to say, the song was appropriate on so many levels. Let me highlight a few key lines..

“Destination unknown, as we pull in for some gas, freshly pasted poster reveals a smile from the past”. (Ie: Luca from season 3)

and

“Ring master steps out and says “the elephants left town”, People jump and jive, but the clowns have stuck around. TV news and camera, there’s choppers in the sky”

That’s all I’m gonna say about that. HOW BIZARRE!

So, we’re having a bonus FRIDAY post today, by popular demand. You see, I made muffins last Sunday… first time in a few years! Between having to go off gluten for a couple years, not having a kitchen (tornado!) for much of that time, etc? Muffins weren’t on my priority list.

We had a handful of pears about to go bad this week, though. Seemed like the perfect excuse to whip out an old favorite – Cardamom Pear Streusel muffins! I created this recipe a few years ago, when I went on a crazy muffin making binge. SO many awesome recipes came from that week – I’ll be sure to post them in the near-ish future. Cardamom and Pear is one of my favorite flavor combinations for baking with, so of course I had to incorporate them into a muffin recipe. This recipe makes 12 big, moist, and delicious muffins with a delicate crumb and warm, exotic flavor. It’s the perfect way to start a day! Anyway. I posted a photo and description of these online that morning, and was inundated with excited comments and requests for the recipe. As I have most of May already scheduled, I figured this would merit an extra blog entry.. and here we are, just in time for the weekend!

Cardamom Pear Streusel Muffins
Makes 12 muffins

2-1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup brown sugar
2 tsp. baking powder
1 1/2 tsp. ground cardamom
2 eggs, lightly beaten
3/4 cup milk
1/2 cup butter, melted and cooled
1 tsp. vanilla
1.5 cups grated pear (~2 large)

Cardamom-Streusel Topping (recipe below)

Preheat oven to 375 F. Line 12 muffin cups with liners, or spray with baking spray.

In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder and cardamom. Make a well in center of flour mixture; set aside.

In another bowl, combine eggs, milk, melted butter, vanilla pears. Add egg mixture all at once to the flour mixture. Stir just until moistened (batter should be lumpy.) Divide batter between 12 prepared muffin cups, filling each to almost full. Sprinkle streusel topping over muffin batter in cups.

Bake in a 375 degree F oven for 18 to 20 minutes or until golden and a wooden toothpick inserted in centers comes out clean. Cool in muffin cups on a wire rack for 5 minutes. Remove from muffin cups; serve warm. Makes 12 muffins.

Cardamom-Streusel Topping:

1/4 cup all purpose flour
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 tsp ground cardamom
2 Tbsp butter, chopped

In small bowl, mix together flour, sugar, and cardamom. Use a pastry cutter or two forks to cut in 2 tablespoons butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs.

A while back, one of my prison buddies MasterChef friends – Duckie – posted a photo of her dinner on Facebook. While that in itself isn’t anything special – my FB news feed has been FLOODED with dinner pics, since coming home from this MC adventure – man, that photo was the stuff that dreams are made of. Well, most of her photos are – they always have everyone drooling – but this really stood out to me.

It was a burger that featured not a meat patty, but a big chunk of paneer that had been breaded with corn flakes! As she described it on her blog, Duckie’s Dine-asty:

“Paneer Burger! Fried paneer on a garlic roll with cabbage, carrot, and a sweet and spicy tamarind chutney…accompanied by sweet potato fries and curried ketchup!”

… I knew I’d have to do my own version, and SOON. The idea of just frying a big patty of paneer as a burger just seemed so hedonistic, it kind of made me giddy to think about it. I don’t usually get like that over something… vegetarian. LOL! So, I thought about which direction I’d want to go with it. I decided that, rather than a cornflake breading, I’d go for a giant version of a paneer pakora. Rather than using my cilantro-mint chutney with it, I’d make a mayo based on that idea, for a creamier texture. Then, to top it off, a mess of quick pickled veggies for some color, brightness, and acidity! YES. It was every bit as awesome as it looks. My husband claims “I could eat that again and again!”, and that it ranks right up there with my Apple Chicken Burgers with Basil and Gouda. Given how completely buts he is about THOSE.. that’s saying something! So freaking good. Yum!

You can also see Duckie’s work on her brand new Facebook page, Duckie’s Dine-asty”.

Duckie is ALL kinds of awesome, even beyond her cooking. She was one of the first people I met in LA, very friendly, outgoing, hilarious, and .. inclusive. On a personal note – she even publicly ripped a bully a new one on my behalf! I mean… in a spectacular fashion. I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone do that for me. This whole thing has been filled with unique experiences for me, but I digress – Duckie is awesome. That is all.

Paneer Burgers with Quick Pickle and Cilantro-Mint Mayo
(Makes two big burgers)

1/3 cup mayo
1/4 cup fresh cilantro, finely chopped
2 Tbsp fresh mint, finely chopped

1/2 red bell pepper, seeded and thinly sliced
1/2 – 1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and thinly sliced
1 green onion, thinly sliced on a long diagonal
1 small carrot, peeled
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1/2 tsp sugar
1/4 tsp salt

Oil, for deep frying
1/2 cups garbanzo (chickpea) flour
2 Tbsp cup rice flour
1 1/2 tsp hot curry powder
1/2 tsp coriander
1/2 tsp salt
pinch tsp baking powder
1 Tbsp finely chopped cilantro
1/2 cup water
12 oz brick of paneer, room temperature
1/4 cup additional garbanzo flour

2 burger buns of choice

Mix together mayo, cilantro, and mint. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until needed.

Place sliced peppers and green onions into a bowl. Using a vegetable peeler, peel long strips of carrot into the same bowl, until you have as much carrot as you would like (I used about as much carrot as I did red pepper). Whisk together vinegar, sugar, and salt. Pour over the vegetables, tossing to coat well. Cover and set aside.

Start heating your oil to 375F – you’ll want at least 2-3″ of oil in your pot or deep fryer.

In a large bowl, combine flours, spices, salt, baking powder, and cilantro. Add water, stir well to form a thick batter. All batter to sit for 5 minutes or so, to soften the bean flour.

Slice your paneer into two “patties”. Sizing will depend on what shape your paneer loaf is in – we got two square patties, and a couple of extra sticks as a “side”. Toss patties with additional garbanzo flour, then dredge in the batter.

Carefully transfer paneer patties to the preheated oil. Fry for a few minutes on each side, until golden brown. Use a slotted metal spoon to transfer fried paneer to paper towels.

To construct the burgers:

Split the buns, toasting if desired. Spread cilantro-mint mayo on bottom half of each bun. Top with burger, and a generous helping of quick pickled veggies. Crown with top bun, enjoy!

Being a wedding industry veteran, I’m well aware of how working towards a big, stressful situation brings out the WEIRD in our dreams. Whether from brides or vendors, I’ve heard every sort of bizarre pre-wedding dream you could imagine!

I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when I started having some weird dreams before flying out to LA for MasterChef… or while I was IN LA for taping… or when I came back.

The Sushi Dream

Now, for the most part, pre-LA dreaming was strictly for problem solving/creating time. I’m a very lucid sleeper, and generally use sleep time to work through problems, create lists of what to do / how to do it, etc. (Those that wonder how I work so fast… now you know!). Most of that was pretty run of the mill… I’d go to bed thinking of fish, for instance, and would wake up with a ton of ideas to add to my study book.

1 week before leaving for the show, however, one of those “create” dreams turned out spectacular: It was a dream about competing on a sushi challenge on the show, and I was WAY ahead of everyone. I had some leftover salmon and decided to do something unique to add to my plate.

You know sushi art, like the stuff found at this link? I decided – mid challenge – that THIS was the time to attempt something like that, so I thinly sliced the salmon, wrapped it in nori and rice, and made a set of MasterChef logo sushi. Won the challenge.

I woke up thinking it out, and thought “you know… that could actually work. If given the opportunity, I think I WILL do that!”. Two of my “Aspie Superpowers” are being able to easily figure out how *anything* is made… and being able to easily reproduce something after seeing it demonstrated only once. Amazingly, these also apply to myself, as seen in my own dreams, LOL!

Porter and I differed on how I should go about doing it. He thought I should practice it ahead of time, I thought that I should NOT, because that first time happening in a challenge? That’d be MAGICAL!

Well, I ended up making sushi rice minutes after waking up that morning, and by 7 am – and on the first try – I had a batch of beautiful MasterChef logo sushi!

I’d elected to color some of the rice, as we didn’t exactly have sushi grade salmon laying around! It all went very smoothly, like I’d done it 100 times before. I’ve been meaning to get more into art sushi, but that logo sushi roll is still the one and ONLY time I’ve ever done art sushi!

The “Taking Things Literally” Dream

This was a few days before I left for LA… It was another competition dream, and we were making pastries for some bigshot food writer. He was using all sorts of words that were painfully awkward for him, basically coming off as a desperate attempt to sound smarter than he was. (Common with food writers, I hate to say.)

So he goes to taste mine, and whines that he was hoping for it to be more “unctuous”. I don’t remember what I had made, but it was something where “unctuous” would be totally inappropriate.

So I dropped my jaw and asked him if he was serious, he wanted “unctuous”, and he confirmed… so I dumped like a cup of vegetable oil over it. We both stared at each other, completely confused, and then I said “Um… maybe that word doesn’t mean what you think it means”.

I told a couple friends about it, and was told in NO uncertain terms that if anything similar came to pass while competing, I MUST respond that way. I agreed

The “Roommate from Hell” Dream

I actually wrote this out in a notebook while still in LA. Let me just type that entry out:

“Day 2 in LA. Woke up at 4am from a stress dream. Well, that’s not entirely true, I woke up at 1, then 3ish, then gave up at 4. Anyway, stress dream:

Dreamed that someone told me the name of my roomie, then acted shocked when I didn’t recognize the name. She hadn’t yet arrived, so this person whipped out their phone so I could google it… I guess so I could see for myself.

She was famous for being a very rich, very VERY right wing socialite. I’m talking like a young Ann Coulter … Canadian-hating and all! She was the daughter of a politician, and a beauty queen from some politically-oriented pageant. I don’t remember the full name of the pageant title, but it involved “Confederacy” in the title, and had the rebel flag stitched on to her sash. WTF?”

… that was the day my roomie was due to arrive. I’m happy to be able to say she was nothing like what my mind had conjured up. She was kinda nuts, for sure… but in the fun, TOTALLY acceptable way that the vast majority of my friends are!

I must say, I was relieved to hear that I wasn’t alone in this! Here are a few weird dreams from my fellow contestants.

Speaking of my roomie, Alexandra Jones had a dream of her own:

“I had a dream I had to shop at home depot with Gordon because we had to replace a piece of the set. He was in a three piece suit and I had to wear a “MasterChef Snuggi”. He started to get angry with me because we couldn’t find anything we needed and just kept walking in a circle. Eventually, we left and went to this pub by my house in Portland and had a few pints.

Then Joe and Graham showed up and the three of them left… and left me to pay for the beer…and it wasn’t even happy hour! ”

Matt Orsini

From Matt Orsini: “This dream happened before I left for LA… All the top 100 was at the hotel and it was my morning to cook. They told me to get dressed and all I remember is getting all the way to set and right before I was cued to cook I looked down and had absolutely nothing on! Before I knew it, Gordon walked out and told me to fuck off so I ran back to the hotel to get dressed knowing that this was do or die for me. I was so embarassed and all the contestants were laughing at me. By the time I got back to the set I had all three judges waiting for me and they told me that regardless of what I was going to cook it was going to be a no! I was pissed off and that’s the last thing I remembered. In my dream I was so frustrated! It was an awful dream. I woke up sweating after it, I thought it was real!”

From Christine Kim:

“I had a crazy dream before I knew I got accepted to top 100.

In the dream, I was hanging with my friends. Then a MC lady appeared out of nowhere and said to me, “Congratulations! You have been accepted in the top 100 of Masterchef! You have an hour to shop for your ingredients in this store, and to prepare you food for the judges. Good luck!”

So I was like “Holy shit what?” And I ran to the grocery store, and I had no idea what to make, and I had no idea what was in this grocery store. So I bought a bunch of random ingredients that I knew how to use and then I woke up really nervous and stressed because of my limited time to prepare.

It turns out that we shopped at a Ralphs that looked EXACTLY like the one in my dream, aisles and everything. I have this thing, where my dreams give me MAJOR Deja Vu, more often than not.”

… Just a handful of the crazy dreams we had!

Are you a past or current MasterChef contestant? Would LOVE to hear what kind of crazy dreams you had about the experience – post a comment below!

So, as I mentioned in an earlier entry, I ended up creating a cocktail while out in LA, “competing” on MasterChef. Well, more accurately, I created it while being holed up in my hotel room!

Anyway, a few days after arriving, we were allowed to go to a nearby mall… it was like getting sprung from jail! We were allowed to roam free for a couple hours, no babysitters, no need to ask permission to go to the washroom. It was kind of awesome, even if I hate malls. FREEDOM!

You know what else is awesome? The fact that you can buy booze at Target in LA.

Now, I’ve seen booze for sale in grocery stores before – in Chicago. Wish it could be that way here in MN, but apparently buying booze on a Sunday means you’re going to hell, soo… yeah. Anyway, seeing booze on a random endcap in a Target was just so novel, I had to giggle. Then, I HAD to buy something, just to say I did.

I settled on a bottle of Malibu. It seemed appropriate, between all the palm trees everywhere, and the general atmosphere of the whole experience. I imagine that this is what college feels like (I wouldn’t know!), and to me, Malibu = young drinking, haha! I’d already had some UV Pink Lemonade Vodka in the hotel room from an earlier grocery store run, along with various mixers and everyday drinks. Sure, there was a hotel bar, but I am cheap.. AND a poor tornado victim, so was not going to be paying hotel cocktail prices. Best to plan ahead! Let’s be clear – there was a LOT of drinking happening out there. I’ll never look at a hotel room disposable coffee mug – or boxes of wine – the same way again. As you already know, I like my drinks to basically be “diabetes in a glass”. Sweet, fruity, and fairly girly… and the Drinking in LA certainly fits the bill. It’ll also sneak up on you, so be careful. Very easy to get thoroughly trashed on this, without even realizing it. Just the other day, my LA roomie asked me if I had slipped MDMA into our drinks, LOL!

Anyway, in honor of my MasterChef experience, I am eschewing our typical professionally styled drink photography setup – and proper glasses – to show the cocktail in its original form. Sure, there were the small rocks glasses available in our hotel rooms… but the disposable coffee mugs afforded us portability. Not only were we able to bring our paper cups out to the pool area (no glass allowed, naturally)… but we could put the plastic lids on and proceed to drink our asses off in the main hotel lobby – even in the bar area – undetected!

A neat trick, and something to keep in mind for conventions, haha! I have no idea why this never occurred to me before. Drinking in LA 2 oz Malibu Rum liqueur 1 oz Pink Lemonade vodka 2 oz Limeade 2 oz Sierra Mist Measure ingredients into a shaker*. Add a handful of ice, shake a few times, strain into disposable coffee cup. *Or, if you’re away on a reality show and sequestered without proper bar equipment: skip the shaker, skip the ice. Pour everything into your coffee cup without TOO much regard for measurements, swirl it a little and you should be good!

Ok, hubby won’t let me get away with NOT posting a proper drink photo…

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So, we’re doing something a little different for this week’s Eurodance Monday. Rather than featuring one song, I’m featuring a list of them.

This is actually a playlist that I’d assembled for my whole MasterChef experience. I had this playing as I trained, I had it on my ipod as I traveled to LA, and I listened to it to both chill out AND get pumped up each morning that I was there.

… Well, to be more accurate, I used my Ipod to try and tune out the insane amounts of noise as we were herded like cattle and kept in fairly closed off areas (with HORRIBLE acoustics!) for hours on end. Holy crap, it was aspie hell! Being able to sit off in a corner, put the earphones in, close my eyes and tune out the sensory overload a bit was a lifesaver!

Anyway, most of these are songs that I’ve profiled on Eurodance Mondays before, for good reason – they’re timeless, and guaranteed to do the job! Links included to each writeup, where applicable:

1: Drinking in LA – Bran Van 3000 (Previous Writeup!)

2: Take Me Up – Amadin (Previous Writeup!)

3: Overload – Voodoo & Serano (Previous Writeup!)

4: Set the World on Fire – E-Type

5: Let the Dream Come True – DJ Bobo (Previous Writeup!)

6: Take Your Chance – Fun Factory (Previous Writeup!)

7: Dreams – 2 Brothers on the 4th Floor (Previous Writeup!)

8: Lucky in my Life – Eiffel 65

9: Here I Go Again – E-Type

10: No Limit – 2 Unlimited (Previous Writeup!)

11: Hold your Horses – E-Type

12: Hang on, Here We Go – Jet Fuel

13: Olympia * – E-Type

As my trip to LA got closer and closer, “Olympia” got more and more difficult and emotional to listen to… managing to surpass “Drinking in LA” as my official theme song for the whole adventure.

The day of my audition, I had it stuck in my head ALL day… and when I was next in line to cook, it had me pumped. I was able to actually say the lyrics to my husband…

“This is it, now the time has come for us and we’re heading for the future – set sail, we’re all go!” and “It’s time for us to make it all come true. We will go for gold and bring it home for you. Give it all and show when we can do, we will go for gold and glory all for you…”

And the really funny thing? I pulled together this list before I left, and yeah, it’s heavy on the E-Type. What can I say, I like what I like…

Anyway, one of the contestants happened to be a Swedish composer… who has apparently worked with E-Type!

Awesome!